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This is not a cult trust me.
24th OO SQ “Beyond All Bounds”A Cool History of the 24th Omnidimensional Operations Squadron
In the early days of space exploration, humanity’s thirst for faster-than-light travel led to wild experiments with slip space and interdimensional gateways. The United Earth Empire’s brightest minds tinkered with quantum mechanics, hoping to unlock the secrets of instant travel across vast cosmic distances.
Amidst these experiments, a fateful mishap occurred. A prototype slip space drive, jury-rigged with salvaged tech and a dash of reckless ingenuity, unexpectedly breached the barriers between dimensions. The event triggered a series of encounters with extraterrestrial entities—beings of unfathomable power and bizarre physiology.
Dubbed the “Lag Incident” by those who survived it, the chaotic encounter left a handful of scientists and engineers stranded in a liminal space between realities. Armed with little more than duct tape, outdated Navy hand-me-downs, and a grim sense of humor, they managed to stabilize their makeshift portal and return home.
Recognizing the potential of their accidental discovery, the UEE swiftly reclassified the incident as a top-secret experiment gone awry. The survivors were conscripted into a newly formed squadron—the 24th Omnidimensional Operations Squadron (24th OOS). Their mission: to explore and exploit the boundaries between dimensions, harnessing both the technological potential and the unpredictable dangers of interdimensional travel.
Under the leadership of Commander Beau “Badger” Cannon, a brilliant but somewhat eccentric welder-turned-pilot, the 24th OOS began its journey. From skirmishes with eldritch horrors that defied physics to negotiating peace treaties with sentient gas clouds, their exploits became the stuff of legend across the cosmos.
Over the decades, the squadron evolved from a ragtag band of misfit scientists into a well-oiled machine of multidimensional warfare. They adapted salvaged technology with cutting-edge advancements and a healthy dose of duct tape innovation, forging a reputation as the UEE’s foremost experts in handling the weird and the unpredictable.
Today, stationed aboard the state-of-the-art carrier UEE Evergreen, the 24th OOS continues to push the boundaries of science and sanity. Their motto = -"Where there's lag, there's hope"- "We're not a cult I swear" = reflects their resilience in the face of adversity and their determination to safeguard humanity, no matter which dimension or reality they find themselves in.
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Article I: Purpose and Mission
Purpose: To protect the United Earth Empire (UEE) from eldritch horrors and other cosmic mishaps, while trying not to crash into each other or accidentally warp reality further.
Mission: Using cutting-edge hand-me-down Navy tech (patched up with the finest duct tape money can buy), our squad will confront, neutralize, and hopefully not sleep with cosmic abominations. We aim to keep humanity safe and reality somewhat intact, despite occasional lag-induced self-detonation.
Article II: Operative Requirements
Pilot Qualifications: Must have a knack for crashing into asteroids and an uncanny ability to attract enemy fire.
Tech Expertise: Proficiency in operating outdated equipment with modern patches (literally and figuratively) is a must. Bonus points for improvising repairs mid-battle.
Sense of Humor: Ability to laugh off near-misses and accidental friendly fire incidents is strongly encouraged. Gallows humor appreciated.
Article III: Rules of Engagement
Rule #1: Never hit the big red button labeled “Do Not Press” (unless absolutely necessary, and then blame it on lag).
Rule #2: No reality-warping experiments during coffee breaks.
Rule #3: Always carry spare duct tape for emergencies—like when your cockpit suddenly starts leaking oxygen mid-space battle.
Article IV: Code of Conduct
Professionalism: Maintain a facade of competence at all times, even when your ship is spinning out of control.
Teamwork: Coordinate maneuvers carefully. TRY to coordinate maneuvers carefully and not to crash into port tressler ATC [again].
Optimism: Remember, every catastrophe is just another opportunity to test the limits of Murphy’s Law and Badgers patience.
Article V: Rewards and Recognition
Medals: Awarded for exceptional achievements in limited unintentional civilian casualties, surviving improbable odds, and successfully returning borrowed equipment in one piece (mostly) and not on fire mostly not on fire.
Rations: Enjoy all the finest military-grade instant noodles and space liquor available after missions, because we stole you’ve earned it—probably.
Article VI: Amendments
Revision Policy: Amendments may be made after sufficient post-mission debriefing and analysis, or when someone finally figures out how to fix the ship’s lag issues.
Emergency Clause: In case of emergency, pray to any deities Jesus still willing to listen and hope for the best.
