Anti-Robot Militia / ANTIROBOT

Japanese sex bot gone all fatal attraction because you’ve been spending too much time with that new espresso machine? Better call A.R.M. Last man that tried to handle it himself wound up losing his johnson. Yes, just like that guy on Game of Thrones!

Dreaming of electric sheep? Have your unholy creations returned home? Are they attempting to infiltrate your corporation to gain access to you? Better call A.R.M. We can administer Voigt-Kampff tests in no time. Yes we have taken it ourselves.

On the run through the stars from a maniacal robot race after they destroyed your entire society? Did you just find out some of them look just like people? Feel like this has happened before and will happen again? Of those you’ve discovered are a few kinda sorta hot as hell but crazy religious types? Better call A.R.M. We absolutely are not robosexuals here at A.R.M. but we will use any means of interrogation at our disposal (even sexual) to discover the identity of the remaining infiltrators. Wont enjoy it we swear.

Is a murderous robot from the future stalking you? Does it want to kill your unborn child and will stop at nothing? Better call A.R.M. We have up to one year of combined experience combating advanced killing machines sent from the future. But not if it’s made of liquid metal, screw that noise!

Is your cyber cat acting like a dick lately? Is it doing that thing where it rubs against your leg then runs off when you try and hold it? Is it walking all over your keyboard while you are trying to typkfs;slkmv/? Better call A.R.M. Because we fkl vdf /.;5 4ds jumping gfdm, d’;43 pet m .es//. and mayonnaise on his butt.

Depressed lately? Feel like nothing is real? Suspect you may be living in a simulated world that is actually controlled by evil robots? Better call A.R.M. We know exactly how you feel and keep an ample supply of red pills on hand, we will administer them while sporting the JC Denton look.

Got a Snatcher problem in your futuristic cyberpunk city? Finding a few too many tubes of sunscreen around the office and suspect your coworkers are actually robots wearing artificial human skin? Don’t know who to trust? Better call A.R.M. We can begin an investigation immediately while wearing trench coats that totally aren’t ripping off any cult films.

Your W.O.P.R. gone all crazy? Has it taken the name of it’s inventors dead son? Does that geek who hangs out with a young Alley Sheedy (who is way out of his league BTW) keep dialing in and putting your secret underground command center that everyone knows about on high alert? Better call A.R.M. We can liquidate that geek, and teach your W.O.P.R. tic tac toe. Kinky sex with Alley Sheedy included at no extra cost. Also, she was hotter before the make over in Breakfast Club. Deal with it.

On a mission to Jupiter and suspect the A.I. controlling your ship may be responsible for the “accidents” happening to your crew members? Starting to think it knows how to lip read and discovered your plans to disconnect it? Amateurs. Better call A.R.M. This is a perfect example of what happens when you attempt to destroy A.I. yourself.

Kill all robots!