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Bombs are Fun / BOMBFUN
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A Group dedicated to the enjoyment of using bombs for everyday activities.
History
The Glorious (and Slightly Explosive) History of the Bombs are Fun
Chapter 1: In the Beginning, There Was a Really Big Boom Long ago, in the murky alpha days of Stanton, a small group of pilots looked at the shiny new A2 Hercules and asked the sacred question: “What if we filled it with the biggest, angriest S10 bombs known to man… and then yeeted them at everything? “They called it the Colossus Bomb. Everyone else just called it MOAB — the Mother of All Bombs.
Thus, a new religion was born: The Order of the Holy Colossus.
Chapter 2: The Founding Fathers (and the First Crater) In 2951, a ragtag bunch of degenerates formed the first unofficial Bomb Appreciation Society. Their motto: “If it’s on the ground, it’s a target. If it’s a target, it deserves freedom… from above. “Legend says the very first Bomb drop was aimed at a small 9Tails outpost. The bomb landed perfectly.
The outpost became a parking lot. The crew cheered so loud they woke up half of Orison. One founder was heard whispering: “I have seen the face of God… and it was a mushroom cloud.”
Chapter 3: The Golden Age of Unnecessary Overkill The golden era saw legendary pilots perfecting the art of MOAB Enjoyment:
• One-Bomb Willie — Famous for using a single Bomb to clear an entire Jumptown event. He now has a permanent seat at the bar because his ship is still falling in pieces somewhere in Hurston.
• Crater Karen — Demanded to speak to the manager of Firestorm Kinetics every time her Colossus didn’t delete an entire bunker. Now runs the org’s complaint department (mostly just screaming “BOMB GOES BRRR” into comms).
• Friendly Fire Fred” — Accidentally Bombed his own ground team 17 times. Currently on his 18th warning. Still employed because he has the best bomb cam footage.
Chapter 4: The Great Schism a dark period occurred when some heretics suggested “Maybe we should use precision missiles instead? They were immediately excommunicated and Bombed for their sins. The survivors formed The Order of the Holy Colossus, swearing an oath to never use anything smaller than Size 10 ever again.
Chapter 5: Modern Times – The MOAB Renaissance Today, the Bombs Are Fun continues the sacred mission of turning planetary surfaces into modern art. Notable achievements include: Creating more craters on Daymar than actual meteor impacts convincing new players that “that giant explosion” is just how the game says hello Making insurance agents cry every Saturday night.
Manifesto
We hold these bombs to be massive, loud, and ridiculously overpowered. We believe that every problem in the ‘verse can be solved with sufficient application of high-explosive freedom. Where others see terrain, we see a blank canvas waiting for the artistic touch of a 10-kiloton paintbrush.
The Sacred Articles of Faith
1. Thou Shalt Not Use Small Bombs
Precision is for cowards and people who enjoy paying insurance. If your explosion doesn’t register on MicroTech’s seismic sensors, you didn’t drop it right.
2. The Bigger the Crater, the Holier the Act
We do not destroy. We redecorate. Every MOAB drop is an act of environmental art. Future archaeologists will study our craters and whisper in awe: “These people had commitment issues with subtlety.”
3. If It’s On the Ground, It’s Asking For It
Bunkers, outposts, illegal mining ops, friendly ground teams, stray cats — all are valid targets. Especially if they’re near something expensive.
4. Collateral Damage is Just Enthusiasm
We prefer the term “bonus landscaping.” If your wingman complains about being inside the blast radius, tell him he should have flown faster. Or higher. Or existed somewhere else.
5. The A2 Hercules is a Holy Relic
Any pilot who takes a MOAB-loaded A2 into battle and doesn’t yell “WITNESS ME” is doing it wrong and will be mocked in Discord for all eternity.
Our Sacred Creed
“I am become Death, destroyer of server FPS.
Through my bombs shall all ground assets know fear.
I will leave no pixel unkilled.
I will make the insurance adjusters weep.
And I will look damn good doing it in an orange flight suit.”
Final Oath
We swear to never fly with less than full MOAB payload unless we are literally out of money (and even then we will beg, borrow, or steal more bombs). We promise to always record bomb cam footage. We vow to laugh maniacally in voice chat every single time the mushroom cloud appears.
So say we all.
Signed with singed fingers,
The MOAB Enjoyers
“If the explosion isn’t funny, you’re doing it wrong.”
Charter
We, the beautifully unhinged pilots, ground-pounders, and professional overkill enthusiasts of the ‘verse, do solemnly swear to uphold the sacred art of turning perfectly good real estate into smoking craters. Recognizing that subtlety is a crutch for the weak, we hereby form this Organization dedicated to the responsible (and extremely loud) application of MOABs.
The MOAB Enjoyers (commonly known as “The Crater Cult”, “Insurance’s Worst Nightmare”, or “Those Psychos in the A2s”).
Article I: Purpose
• To deliver maximum freedom at terminal velocity.
• To create more craters than natural meteor activity across every planet.
• To make ground forces regret existing.
• To give insurance agents recurring nightmares and therapy bills.
Article 2: Membership
Any pilot who has successfully dropped a MOAB without immediately regretting their life choices may apply.
Article 3: Rights of Members
• The right to request MOAB support at any time, for any reason (including “I don’t like their vibe”).
• The right to laugh maniacally on open comms.
• The inalienable right to call smaller bombs “cute”.
Article 4: Code of Conduct
1. Thou shalt always fly with at least one MOAB unless broke (in which case you shall beg, borrow, or pirate more).
2. Thou shalt record every drop for the holy Discord archive.
3. “Oops” is not an acceptable apology after deleting an allied ground team.
4. If the mushroom cloud isn’t visible from orbit, you will be gently mocked in the group chat.
5. No member shall speak the forbidden words “maybe we should use precision strikes instead.”
Article 5: Dissolution
This Organization may only be dissolved when every planet in the ‘verse has been rendered flat enough to land a Reclaimer on. Until that glorious day, we ride.
Final Declaration
We, the MOAB Enjoyers, promise to always prioritize fun over safety, craters over common sense, and legendary clips over surviving the server.
Signed with slightly burned fingers and ringing ears,
The Order of the Holy Colossus