Eternal Noobs / LEGALIZEIT

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Hail the jar, for it can seal which can’t be sealed

„Am Anfang wurde das Universum erschaffen. Das machte viele Leute sehr wütend und wurde allenthalben als Schritt in die falsche Richtung angesehen.“
– Das Restaurant am Ende des Universums, Kapitel 1

History Manifesto Charter

History

“This world is an illusion, exile!”
Dominus

Hearing these words our prophet began to see the light, the undeniable truth.
He understood that not the “Essiggurke”, with all its might and the possible destructive force it can generate, was the gift from his God.
Rather it was temptation, a being of omnipotence, not meant for mere mortals.
The true gift was the container which could seal off this terrible anomaly, the “Essiggurkenglass”,
and through worshipping it he could ascend into the realms of his God and leave this illusion.

But his God gave him a quest which had to be fulfilled before his ascencion, so our great prophet went on a long journey through the verse

  • to cleanse it of the false God “Essiggurke”
  • to collect the gifts of his God the “Essiggurkenglass”
  • to tell everybody of his God and the truth

So that never again righteous citizens of the verse will be tempted or corrupted.

Even today he is on his great quest, with his trusty followers and his comunity “Eternal Noobs” is now the single biggest brotherhood of Essiggurkenglass.

Hail the jar, for it can seal which can’t be sealed.

Manifesto

Esteemed believers of the magnificent “Essiggurkenglass” our 10 rules to greatness and might are:

  • believe !!!
  • show off the greatness of the magnificent “Essiggurkenglass”
  • just do it
  • …
  • “enough of it” Piety

Hail the jar, for it can seal which can’t be sealed.

Charter

My beloved followers,

today is the day I will tell you how you can honour our God :

  • destroy any “Essiggurke” through eating it, so that you yourself will become a container of it and with that be one step closer to “Essiggurkenglass”
  • root out and destroy every terror cell of the false god “Essiggurke”
  • collect any container which you think coud be a reincarnation of “Essiggurkenglass”
  • only we, his faithful believers, can truly appreciate his reincarnations, so it’s self-explaining that these are ours to begin with.

Hail the jar, for it can seal which can’t be sealed