9 members
OSHA'nt / OSHANT
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Freelancing -
Resources
We specialize in giving OSHA Inspectors nightmares.
History
First established 2953-12-06 by a group of friends with hazardous and carefree disregard for any and all safe practices, OSHA’nt received its name after a motion was passed and carried by its stakeholders on 2954-01-07. It was formally incorporated the eve of 2954-01-13 and has since continued to wreak havoc across the Stanton system with callously negligent work environments and ruthless pursuit of capital. There are no shenanigans here. We have been involved in 0 confirmed war crimes.
Do not listen to the man bound up and gagged in the corner with a yellow safety vest, hardhat, and badge. He is of no consequence.
Manifesto
ARTICLE 1
Declaration of OSHA Non-Compliance
1.0 – We declare open warfare upon safety codes and regulations of all stripes and colours, for the singular purpose of defying rational governance and the rule of law.
1.1 – We commit to resolute defiance of the gods and of all good sense as we push the boundaries of all that can be done in this universe of stars, without care for life or limb.
1.2 – We insist upon the utter and total dissolution of best practices, and firmly declare OSHA an unfounded myth. Safety and caution will not be tolerated.
1.3 – Did you expect a manifesto under the manifesto section? This is our charter. See “Charter” for our manifesto.
ARTICLE 2
Modus Operandi
2.0 – We will stock our freighters and our cargo holds with more cargo than can be safely gridded, for there is no limit to our arrogance but the empty void itself.
2.1 – We will do things no sane man, woman, or person would ever think to do, in the name of what is silly and fun.
2.2 – We will pile high the crates and stand upon them as victors and conquerors, for our pride has no limit.
2.3 – We will smile down upon our enemies, who we will scrape down for parts, to sell for millions at a time at the nearest admin terminals and TDDs.
ARTICLE 3
On Safety Inspections and Inspectors
3.0 – Safety inspections will not be tolerated. Safety inspectors will be met with lethal force.
3.1 – We ate the last one.
3.2 – Safety inspectors taste like chicken.
Charter
THE OSHA’NT MANIFESTO1
We here at OSHA’nt strive to promote and endorse an equal opportunities and representation work space – which really just means that no matter your race, gender, or sexual orientations, we are committed to creating and engaging in equally hazardous and senseless work environments and tasks no matter who or where you are!
Founded by a group of gender and racially diverse friends united in a shared vision in which all safe, best practices are thrown out the window in favour of dangerous, near-pointless activities of which no OSHA inspector would ever approve. And which our wallets may or may not benefit from.
We have but one question for you:
Do you pass the VibeCheck?
1 Looking for our Charter? It’s all Hangar 9, choom; see “Manifesto”.
