GRUNTS 4 HIRE [GRUNT] - Organizations - Roberts Space Industries

History

Grunts 4 Hire is a motley crew of misfits, rejects, and those who couldn’t cut it anywhere else. But don’t let their lack of pedigree fool you; these grunts may be cheap, but they’re worth every penny

Born out of a desperate need for cannon fodder in the most dangerous corners of the universe, Grunts 4 Hire has made a name for itself as the go-to solution for any warlord, despot, or other such legitimate buisness minded indivudals seeking limited-time reinforcements. Their motto? “You pay, we die. It’s that simple.”

From the battlefields of forgotten wars to the frontlines of hopeless causes, Grunts 4 Hire has seen it all and then some. They may not always come out on top, but they’ll always come out swinging (or at least flailing wildly).

So, if you’re in need of some disposable soldiers with questionable combat skills and even more questionable survival instincts, look no further than Grunts 4 Hire. Because when the going gets tough, the tough hire grunts.

Manifesto

A force forged not from valor or honor, but from sheer cost efficiency. We are Grunts 4 Hire, and this is our manifesto.

Article 1: The Disposable Code

We, the grunts of Grunts 4 Hire, hereby pledge our unwavering commitment to our Gruntmaster for expendability. We understand that our lives are cheap, our skills are questionable, and our survival is optional. But fear not, for in our expendability lies our strength.

Article 2: The Price of Valor

We believe in the power of the paycheck. Gold may not buy happiness, but it sure can purchase a temporary reprieve. We fight not for glory or ideals, but for cold, hard cash. Pay us well, and we’ll die for you with a smile on our faces (or at least a grimace).

Article 3: The Art of Improvisation

We celebrate the fine art of improvisation. Whether it’s fashioning weapons out of household items, MacGyvering a meal out of scraps, or jury-rigging a vehicle from spare parts, we excel in making do with what we have. Remember, when life gives you lemons, make lemon grenades.

Article 4: The Art of Retreat

Tactical retreats are our specialty. When the going gets tough, the tough get going… in the opposite direction. We may not win every battle, but we’ll live to fight another day (or at least until our next paycheck clears).

Article 5: Solidarity in Suffering

We stand united in our suffering. Whether we’re knee-deep in mud, dodging enemy fire, or just trying to find a clean pair of socks, we do it together. Because when you’re a grunt, misery loves company.

*Article 6: The Legacy of Gruntmaster *

We pledge our allegiance to our Gruntmaster, our fearless (and slightly reckless) leader. Under his guidance, we will march boldly into battle, secure in the knowledge that if we fall, he’ll just hire more of us.

So raise your swords (or whatever sharp objects you can find), fellow grunts, and let the world know: We may be expendable, but we’re damn proud of it.

Signed,

The Grunts 4 Hire Brigade

Charter

*Grunts 4 Hire Charter

Preamble:
*
We, the grunts of Grunts 4 Hire, in order to embrace our expendability, establish affordability, and secure the blessings of a steady paycheck, do ordain and establish this charter for the betterment of our mercenary company.

Article I: Purpose

The purpose of Grunts 4 Hire is to provide a cost-effective solution to any and all conflicts, skirmishes, and hostile takeovers requiring the services of expendable soldiers. Our primary objective is to throw bodies at the problem until it goes away (or until our client runs out of money).

Article II: Values

Grunts 4 Hire is founded upon the following values:

Expendability: We understand that our lives are cheap, our skills are questionable, and our survival is optional. But fear not, for in our expendability lies our strength.

Affordability: We provide our services at a reasonable price, ensuring that even the most budget-conscious warlord can afford to hire us.

Profit: We believe in the power of the paycheck. Gold may not buy happiness, but it sure can buy a lot of bandages.

Article III: Code of Conduct

Members of Grunts 4 Hire shall adhere to the following code of conduct:

Follow orders (unless they conflict with our desire to stay alive). Embrace improvisation (when faced with unexpected challenges, make it up as you go). Maintain a sense of humor (because when you’re facing almost certain death on a daily basis, laughter is the best medicine).

Article IV: Leadership

Grunts 4 Hire shall be led by the Gruntmaster, whose authority is derived from the unquestioning loyalty of his Grunts.

Article V: Amendments