The Sirius Mercenaries / SIME

Currently under primary contract regarding [INFORMATION REMOVED], below is a brief statement that was sent out to all required personnel.

In order to address questions raised recently surrounding the objectives, methods and moralities of my team of which you are now to be made aware under the current contract of [ABOVE], I am sending out the following clarifications:

To clarify, the primary objective of [ACCESS TO INFORMATION DENIED] otherwise the Sirius Mercenaries under Operation-Alpha-Two;[REDACTED]), is to ensure the protection of [REVOKED] VIP personnel with emphasis on the [INFORMATION INTERDICTION], similar to the elite unit belonging to the United Empire of Earth, but better.

Our methods should be considered unrestricted as required, yet due to the client’s requirements (primarily concerning status and affiliations), The Sirius Mercenaries are currently authorised to only take actions based on solidly provable necessity, thus excluding concerns such as:
Outright Piracy,
Unlawful and Unjustifiable Actions,
Petty Theft,
Murder,
Unwarranted Blackmail,
Extortion,
and any other actions deemed unjustifiable in regards to protecting the client in what may only be referred to as a righteous manner.

Consider the following two scenarios:
Scenario A:
An attack ship is on its way to kill the current [VIP]. This is confirmed from a trustworthy source obtaining information over intercepted communications channels.
Units are deployed to nullify the craft by any means necessary and decide to board and infiltrate before neutralising the threats with lethal force. Command will then be contacted requesting information on what to do with the ship and its cargo.

Scenario B: (extreme case scenario)
Units are stranded in a gravity well with forty minutes of oxygen supplies and no comms access.
VIP is in an asteroid field eight minutes away hiding within a disabled ship while attackers are closing in.
Staying near an outpost so as to hopefully be found, rescue teams will take at least sixty minutes to arrive, by which time all will be dead. A few minutes go by and a random ship lands at the outpost yet does not speak an interpretable language and within two minutes of trying, attempts at communication are considered impossible at the current time for the purpose of quickly moving Units towards the VIP.
The Sirius Mercenaries subdues the owner through preferably non-lethal means and commandeers the ship for use as emergency transport in an attempt to save the life of the VIP who’s chances of survival are now very slim. The VIP is hopefully hiding in the captains toilet.
Squad Delta successfully arrives just as boarding units are conducting a thorough sweep, before successfully neutralising all on-board threats and attempting to again communicate with the commandeered vessels owner, if they are still alive.
Regardless, the owner is compensated for their time (again, if they are still alive) through monetary reward and compensatory supplies if they may be spared. The Sirius Mercenaries will stop at no means to ensure the safety of designated individuals, yet shall not set out with harmful intent.

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Rules of Engagement

Applying to all units, in order to prevent needless brutality, when the Rules of Engagement are active, at least one of these conditions should be met before utilising lethality.
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• In the case that a non-ally pulls a weapon, after previously holding none, they have engaged.

• In the case that a non-ally doesn’t respond to flashes, wiggles and other attempts at communication in turn if they are already holding a weapon, they have become a threat and thus, considered engaged.

• In the case that a non-ally shoots or kills seemingly without reason, i.e. Randomly killing a neutral or friendly, hell, even randomly killing an enemy, they have engaged.

• In the case that a non-ally kills or shoots at an ally, they have engaged.

• In the case that a non-ally actively disrupts the mission (not including innocent acts such as taking a loot box first) i.e. Turning off hacking panel in Kareah, they may be engaged with lethal gunfire.

• In the case that a non-ally boards ally property or controlled area, such as a ship, without permission (with permission makes them an ally), with a gun drawn then they are to be considered a raider and engaged.

• In the case that a non-ally enters ally property or controlled area, such as a ship, without permission, attempts to man equipment still without permission, then they are to be considered a saboteur and thus, they have engaged.

• In the case that a non-ally does not leave ally owned property or controlled areas when requested, they are trespassing and thus, a threat and thus, they have engaged.

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Stragems Towards Success

In order to ensure that peak effectiveness and efficiency is reached under all aspects, all units must adhere to these strategems.
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1. Unless the client requires so, morals shall be disregarded in exchange for brutally effective logic, complete with naivety, if required.
2. Stop at nothing to do what you are required to do, in the most effective and efficient manner as possible.
3. Let not a law, restriction, rule or philosophical limitation impede your progress.
4. Wear armor not to keep you alive, but to allow the enemy the first shot.
5. Complete the objective at any cost, be it pride, payment, personality disruption, loss of savings, drinking problems, she took the kids.
6. The Corporation is always right, even if they are not.
7. Logical fallacy is illogical, thus illogically ignorable. Ergo, ignore logic.
8. There are two true enemies, Death and Stupidity.
9. Patience is boring.
10. The best way to win a one on one is to be the third to arrive.
11. In case of grenade over head, run towards the enemy screaming foul obscenities.
12. On Tuesdays, all units will be required to sharpen their towels.
13. For as long as you are conscious, you are alive.
14. In the case you are not alive, but still conscious, walk it off.
15. Even if your allies fall left and right, behind and front, as long as you literally dont die, you will survive.
16. In case of orbital, arial or mortar-based bombardment, cue the Waluigi/Eurobeat playlist. You fucking weeb.
17. If neither client nor superior, they are inferior. Subsequently, the superiors may slap inferiors.
18. In case of Tank, lay down and scream.
19. If told not to do something by a third party, said third party has a reason. Their own reason. Kill them and carry on.
20. Lasers, space lasers, ballistics, space ballistics – all can stop a knife in the back if worn properly. Carry more guns.
21. All surviving units on Tuesdays will be entitled to free oxygen.
22. Detrimental to the health, yet empowering to the soul, charging in blindly will get everyone killed. Go brain!
23. Need assistance, but Google hasnt been active for over eight hundred years? Start screaming, but do so in style.
24. Engines down, no way to fly? Call for a repair beacon and use the arriving ships engine to replace.
25. Low armour, high fashion. Trenchcoats are worth the style points. If you’ve never dodged bullets what are you even doing.
26. Units are adviced to refrain from catching bullets with their faces.
27. You can never carry too many grenades.
28. You can never throw too many grenades.
29. In case of accidental grenade, scream, for there have been too many grenades.
30. Pesky hallway, staircase of death? Camp the end with a railgun! While on the ceiling, obviously.
31. M e t a m o r p h o s i s !
32. Inconveniences such as station security forces should have Ballistics applied to Faces immediately.
33. Thursdays are dedicated to reviewing Tuesday’s attempt at universal domination.
34. In case of imminent destruction or alleviation from mortal plane, apply paper bag to head.
35. Cognitohazard weapon storages are not to be thought about. If you are thinking about one, input: bit.ly/2Ic0BuL
36. Memetic weapon storages are not to be thought about. If you are thinking about one, input: bit.ly/313Mj80
37. Units are advised to stop using gifs of other people as reactions to their own messages.
38. If you believe the above is good advice, you are mentally challenged and should input: bit.ly/1rUtSZN
39. If the enemy declare that following their commands will spare you harm, kindly inform them that you are willing to waste bullets.
40. Negotiations do not always result in death, just mostly.