Oversized thrusters roaring, threatening to break loose from the thick, reinforced beams that barely keep the hollowed-out Caterpillar frame from vibrating itself apart. It slowly, deliberately turns to bear on a distant minefield. Shivs and other protective pilots stand by, throwing jeers and taunts at the impenetrable minefield that stretches as far as the eye can see. A faint glimmer behind it reveals the beating heart of a rival organization's operations: a starbase. BOOOOM! The ship itself kicks back with the recoil. One of precious few rounds barrels down the body, slung towards that glimmering speck of dreams and hope, soaring over the minefield that had held the pirates at bay for a week thus far. As the crew counts down the seconds until impact, a nearby Caterpillar pilot counts on his few fingers the remaining shots of the friendly Catapult. His crew's on standby for re-arm, the side bays already open and ATLS crew geared to transfer more precious shot at moment's notice. It took months of pirating to save up for enough ammo. He hoped they didn't have to spend it all in one go. Moments later, a soft piff couldn't be heard because sound doesn't travel through space, and the distant "star" flickered. The shields fizzled in and out, staggered by the blow, barely holding. "Errr... cap'n? What about the..." "Blast it, where's that laser bore?" He snarled. First mate shuddered back. "Didn't work, this is all we got. What about the regen timer- " "Didn't work?? What do you mean didn't work?" "FIRE!" Another BOOOOOM resounded through the hull as a second shot went out, precious seconds ticking until the starbase shield started to regenerate. Every second counted. "It couldn't handle the shots. The batteries. It was all just too much!" The first mate stammered out, afraid of what was next for him. Bad news was never taken well. "Too much? Too much? Then use too much duct tape and blast it all to hells! Who do you think we are!? We salvaged batteries for weeks to power that thing! Nothing is too much for our crew!!" "Yeah, uh... it melted." "MELTED??" Just then, the distant star flickered again. "FIRE!" The captain bashed the red button on the console. "FIRE, I said!" BOOOOOOM! The recoil almost knocked them sideways into the waiting Caterpillar, whose pilot nearly lost half the crew overboard as he mashed the afterburner and careened sideways out of the way, hastily averted collision. Jetpacks and thrusters flashed as they scrambled to get back aboard. It was time to get reloading, or their heads would be the next shots fired. And somebody'd better refill the Caterpillar captain's beer that just got sloshed all over him, or there'd be hell to pay. Gnashing his teeth, the Catapult captain artfully crafted insults and epithets in his mind that would be worthy of going down in recorded history. But before he could bark one out at the doomed first mate, the distant star went dark. Everyone went silent. A very quiet cheer started to go up, then was silenced. Then, the star turned a dim red, then orange, then suddenly, FLASH! Bright as a real star for a moment, and the roar of cheers from the blind pirates was soon drowned out by the rumbles of the impact shockwave threatening to tear the Catapult itself apart. You might even say ... the timbers shivered! "Now, err... about that mine field..." The first mate started. The Catapult Captain puffed his cigar to clear the smoke from his Ol' Betty's barrel while the second mate gingerly stepped over the first, a quiet smile on her face. "Ah! I knew it was you!" He beamed broadly and embraced her with a hug. "As he was saying...", she started, peppering kisses along the captain's cheek and jawline as she whispered, "Flat-Spacers... they didn't have an umbrella for the rain, if you know what I mean." "Eh?" She stepped back a little, still smiling innocently, gave a shrug. "You need to start thinking in three degrees of freedom, my friend." He grinned. "I'm in four when I'm around you, darling." "Sure, you are", she purred back. He took another puff of the cigar, tapped ashes over the first mate's body. "So that really was you, wasn't it? I knew it." He murmured. "Well, it took a few dozen of us to get the shields down in time, but even our modded 'Claimer cannons couldn't crack that tin can on their own... When it comes to starbase doors," she paused to pat his chest. "Size matters. Couldn't have done it without you, darling". "Couldn't have done it without you either, darling." He smiled as warmly as he could while quietly pondering his own mortality. "YOU HEARD THE LADY! LET'S GET TO PLUND- " ... He hesitated. "Wait, that WAS you, wasn't it? The red glow..." She smiled wordlessly as he connected the dots. "Couldn't have done it without you cracking that door open, Cap'n." "Wait!! What about my split of the loot??" "We're not called Locust Fleet for nothing! Til next time, darling!"