IS WIKELO AN IMPOSTER? By: Hexagonal 643 OBITUARY PYRO May 3. 2955 Is Wikelo an Imposter? This question has been arising more and more frequently as time goes by and this new comer to Stanton has been gaining more and more notoriety for his wealth and eccentric collections. According to several anonymous sources close to the matter, Wikelo is said to be none other than the disgraced Jar Jar Binks who some years back fell out of favor with the public after his disastrous debut in another far away system. As outlandish as this seems, it appears that Jar Jar has undergone years of dangerous and painful cosmetic surgery as well as experimental “Xenomorph transition therapy” consisting of largely untested and unstable exotic compounds. All of this begs the question: how did Jar Jar amass such exorbitant wealth after his failed public debut? Well, according to “sources” Jar Jar aka Wikelo is actually the much feared and reviled Kingpin known simply as “Zontar” in the illegal and very lucrative Gasping Weevil Egg trade, among other illegal trades. His cartel is said to span mostly from Pyro into Stanton but is said to be poised to make a move into the new systems recently being discovered. According to “sources” close to the matter Jar Jar was devastated by his humiliating public downfall and will now stop at nothing to be seen as popular and wealthy in the public eye. So Kind citizen, this reporter recommends caution when dealing with Wikelo, although you must decide for yourself if the reports have any merit. Its a dangerous verse out there stay frosty but not cold. From the road on location at Obituary station is Hexagonal 643 with the Disassociated free press.