Hallå from the Pirate Base. Welp, I was out minding my own bidness one clear near 0 Kelvin day. Ya know, just enjoying the scenery, distant sunlight and such whilst traipsing around the belt out here. I was perusing the finer items for sale in-house and grew tired of window shopping skull t-shirts and, uh, 'second hand' firearms. So I found myself a path upon which to stretch my legs a bit, inside the base. Next thing, deep in the bowels of this retched rock, I slipped and dun fell through a hole. Now this weren't no ordinary hole mind ya. And no gutter neither, where my minds usually at. But by god a hole big enough to swalla a fella up and spit me on out that dark side of this here rock I's on. My momma always tol me I was some kinda special. I knewit prurdy well myself too. But goldang, frozen pizza margaritas, I did not know all this time I was Superman. Shoot, if I'd known that I might just picked up some other vocation then this here pirating bidness. Anyhow's. I don't reckin ma and pa and little cousin Shella gonna believe me none too much so I hadda take a few of them selfies so they wouldn't take me up as some kinda fable-maker, liar or just down right crazy ol'coot. So might I present to y'all now, God's honest proof my bein born a superhero ain't nothing short of a cosmic miracle. I am Super Man! (queue the musik miistro) And just cause I know some of yuhz is think'n I'm trying to goof on ya bout being a superhero and all. I got the XRay Visions too! I done seen clear through my own skull myself. Don't ask how I took that selfie. It weren't none too pretty no how. And Don't worry yoursef nun bout that other thought y'all ponderin right now neether. I ain't got no eyes nohow towards my lil'cousin Shella. That's just wrong. What you take me for anyhow. Ignerant? Y'all be be good. I won't. The Supe!