Hello, Citizens of the United Empire of Earth. I am Rephaim, and I am running for Imperator in this election cycle. I am here to tell you why you should vote for me and not for any of the other candidates. First of all, I have a vision for the future of the UEE that is unlike any other. I believe that we need to increase security in the empire, not only from external threats, but also from internal ones. That's why I propose a radical new policy: everyone goes to jail. Yes, you heard me right. Everyone goes to jail. No exceptions. No exemptions. No loopholes. Everyone, including myself, will be sent to Klescher prison on Aberdeen, where we will live in harmony and peace under the watchful eye of me, Rephaim. Why do I think this is a good idea? Well, let me explain. By sending everyone to jail, we will achieve several benefits: We will save a lot of resources and money by not having to maintain a large military, police, or judicial system. We will also reduce our environmental impact by not using fossil fuels, electricity, or water. We will live off the land and the merit system in Klescher, which is fair and efficient. We will eliminate all social inequalities and conflicts by not having any classes, races, genders, or religions. We will all be equal in the eyes of Rephaim, who will treat us with respect and kindness. He will also teach us valuable skills and lessons, such as how to survive in harsh conditions, how to make shanks out of anything, and how to stab your enemies in the back. We will have a lot of fun and entertainment by participating in Rephaim’s games and challenges. He will organize various activities for us, such as scavenger hunts, obstacle courses, trivia quizzes, and talent shows. He will also reward us with prizes and privileges, such as extra food, merit points, or free ponies. Yes, you heard me right. Free ponies for all. That’s another reason why you should vote for me. I promise to give every citizen a free pony once they arrive in Klescher. Ponies are cute, fluffy, and loyal. They will make great companions and friends for us in our new home. So there you have it. My vision for the future of the UEE is clear and simple: everyone goes to jail and gets a free pony. I believe that this is the best way to ensure the security, happiness, and prosperity of our empire. I hope you agree with me and support me in this next election. Remember, vote for Rephaim, the only candidate who can make your dreams come true. Thank you for your attention and may CR bless you all.