Dread Fang / DREADFANG

Manifesto of the Dread Fang – Definitely Not Space Pirates

Greetings, Earthlings and entities of the cosmos! We are the Dread Fang, a most distinguished and absolutely legitimate space-faring collective, definitively not pirates, because, really, who uses that term seriously anymore? Our proud banner? A daring Hello Kitty skull and bones floating defiantly across the starlit void, a beacon of both charm and chaos.

Let’s set the record straight: We, the Dread Fang, are merely enthusiasts of interstellar free enterprise. Yes, we navigate the boundless heavens, not because we delight in pilfering through the galaxy’s unattended treasures—oh, the very thought!—but because we cherish the liberty that the vast universe offers! What’s a little spontaneous acquisition among star systems, right?

Our manifesto, dear stargazers, is one of gallant misunderstanding. We vehemently oppose the outdated and completely unwarranted label of “pirates.” How quaint, how utterly mundane! We are curators of cosmic opportunity, emancipators of burdensome cargo. To those who mutter “thief,” we proclaim ourselves as mere agents of unsolicited cosmic redistribution!

Dread Fang is also the pulsing heart of the new frontier’s social scene. Our vessel is the ultimate safe space, shielded from the prying sensors of the so-called “authorities.” Here, one can truly embrace their inner void-walker, whether that involves commandeering ships at the edge of a wormhole or engaging in the sublime art of galactic shitposting under the soft glow of our holograms. Yes, we are maestros of digital mischief—each post a masterstroke of irony and wit, disrupting the cosmic silence as deftly as our ships slice through the vacuum.

So, rally under our Hello Kitty ensign—a symbol of our fearsome yet friendly spirit. Here aboard the Dread Fang, you’re free to become whoever you wish to be, provided you can handle a blaster and craft a meme with equal finesse. We are not pirates; we are pioneers of the celestial age, sailing toward a horizon where the stars fade on ignorance and dawn on enlightenment (or at least on a splendid haul of space loot).

Hoist the flag, man the posts (both virtual and actual), and let the galaxy know: we are here, we are the Dread Fang, and we are definitely not pirates! But should your spirit align with our cosmic crusade, we might just have a spot for you in our ranks.

Charter of the Dread Fang – The Spacefaring Creed

Article I: On Autonomy and the Self

Absolute Autonomy: Every member of the Dread Fang pledges to uphold the sanctity of personal freedom and individual choice. Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the Space Law, provided it does not impinge upon the freedoms of your fellow corsairs.
Self-Reliance: Depend on no entity but yourself. Your destiny is navigated by your own stars; steer your vessel with pride and self-assurance. If you’re looking for a handout, you’re in the wrong quadrant of the galaxy.

Article II: On Courage and Grit

No Cowardice Permitted: The vast cosmos is no place for the faint of heart. Face the abyss with courage, or float home on a solar breeze. Dread Fang does not harbor those who falter before the unknown.
Unyielding Spirit: When the vacuum of space dares to stare you down, remember who you are—a member of the Dread Fang. We bend for no man, beast, or cosmic storm. Grit is the armor that shields us amidst the stars.

Article III: On Independence and Free Speech

Speak Freely: Here in the vacuum, your voice is your most potent weapon. Speak your mind, even if your words leave the stars themselves scorched. Censorship has no refuge within our ranks.
Sovereign Thought: Hold fast to your beliefs, and challenge those of others. A true Dread Fang is a master of debate, armed with wit sharper than a comet’s tail.

Article IV: On Brotherhood and Mutual Respect

Respect Through Strength: Earn your respect amongst the crew by proving your mettle, not by whining for it. Respect is given where respect is due, and here, it is earned in the heat of battle and the depths of strategy.
Brotherhood of the Bold: Stand with your crew, as they are your brethren in the starlit expanse. But remember, each pilot guides their own ship. Support, but never coddle. The Dread Fang forges warriors, not weepers.

Article V: On Humor and Camaraderie

Embrace Humor: The cosmos is absurd, so our laughter must echo across it. Shitpost with gusto, jest with brilliance. Humor is the cohesion that binds the stars.
No Thin Skins: As you jest, so shall you be jested upon. If your skin is thin as a comet’s tail, consider a different crew. The Dread Fang revels in the ribald and the irreverent.

Article VI: On Conflict and Conquest

Ruthless in Pursuit: Pursue your targets with the ferocity of a black hole. Show no mercy, for space spares none. We are the Dread Fang, hunters of the void, and woe betide the prey that crosses our path.

Honor in Conquest: Though ruthless, we are not without honor. Claim victory with pride, but respect the vanquished. For today’s foe could be tomorrow’s ally in the vast, uncharted galaxies.

By joining the ranks of the Dread Fang, you commit to these articles, a creed written in the stardust of the unyielding, relentless, and fearless. To be a part of us is to embrace the abyss with a smirk, a blaster at your side, and an unbreakable will. Here’s to the bold; the universe is ours for the taking.