CITIZEN DOSSIER
UEE Citizen Record #763690
Profile
Shizniticus
Handle name Shizniticus
Referral Bonus
Main organization
Enlisted Feb 26, 2015
Fluency English
Bio
I've wandered the galaxy looking for that special "something" that will alleviate the itch that has plagued me for a lifetime. I've tried scratching, meditation, grinding my butt vigorously into a chair while seated and so many ointments from so many outposts across the expanse that I've lost count.
Butt I won't give up. Somewhere out there, on some planet is some plant, or animal life form, living, dead, I don't care, that when ground up into little bits, will cure my burning, itching, rectally centered problem. I will find it. I will patent this compound and I will find relief! I will become filthy rich as I replace Preparation-H (Mua Ha Ha Haaaa) as the sole and horribly lacking cure for the terrible cross I must bear- giant space hemorrhoids.
-ShizniticuS out.
Butt I won't give up. Somewhere out there, on some planet is some plant, or animal life form, living, dead, I don't care, that when ground up into little bits, will cure my burning, itching, rectally centered problem. I will find it. I will patent this compound and I will find relief! I will become filthy rich as I replace Preparation-H (Mua Ha Ha Haaaa) as the sole and horribly lacking cure for the terrible cross I must bear- giant space hemorrhoids.
-ShizniticuS out.