4 members
Church of the Banana / BANANE
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Freelancing -
Resources
Welcome to the Church of the Banana!
In the ‘verse, one truth remains: the Banana provides and Protects. We mine, trade, and freelance under the guidance of the Sacred Peel. Praise the Peel, embrace the Fruit, and may your cargo hold always be full!
History
History of the Church of the Banana
In the vast, cold darkness of space, where chaos reigns and empires rise and fall, one truth has remained unwavering: the Banana provides.
The origins of the Church of the Banana are shrouded in mystery, lost among the drifting stars and the whispers of ancient traders. Some say the first Banana Prophet discovered the Sacred Peel after a miraculous cargo run, where a single, perfectly ripe banana was the only thing that survived a catastrophic ship explosion. Others claim the wisdom of the Banana was revealed in a vision during a deep-space mining expedition, where a prospector, on the brink of despair, found solace in the golden curve of the fruit.
What we know for certain is that the Banana has always guided those who seek prosperity, sustenance, and a well-balanced diet. The faithful embrace the teachings of the Fruit, understanding that success in the ‘verse is not just about credits, but about nourishment—both of the body and the soul.
The Church of the Banana welcomes all, whether you are a humble freelancer, a dedicated miner, or a bold trader navigating the ever-changing market. Our mission is simple: to spread the glory of the Banana across the stars, ensuring that no cargo hold is ever empty and that every weary traveler finds comfort in the glow of the Sacred Peel.
Join us, and together, we shall peel back the mysteries of the universe.
Manifesto
Manifesto of the Church of the Banana
In the boundless expanse of the ‘verse, where chaos and uncertainty lurk behind every jump point, one truth shines eternal: the Banana provides.
We are the faithful, the enlightened, the chosen of the Fruit. We believe in prosperity through trade, strength through unity, and wisdom through the Sacred Peel. Whether we mine the depths of asteroids, transport goods across the stars, or take on freelance work, we do so with the Banana’s blessing.
Our mission is clear: spread the word, share the fruit, drink the kasiksi and never let a cargo hold go empty. We reject hunger, despair, and the tyranny of scurvy. Through the divine glow of the Golden Banana, we shall bring sustenance, fortune, and balance to all corners of the galaxy.
Praise the Peel. Embrace the Fruit. Prosper under the Banana’s grace
Charter
Charter of the Church of the Banana
As faithful followers of the Sacred Peel, we uphold the following tenets to guide our actions across the stars:
Article I
– The Core Belief
The Banana is the symbol of prosperity, unity, and sustenance. We honor its teachings by ensuring no cargo hold remains empty, no traveler goes hungry, and no opportunity for profit is wasted.
Article II
– The Pillars of the Faith
Trade & Prosperity – The Banana teaches us that wealth is meant to be shared. We trade, mine, and freelance to spread fortune across the ‘verse.
Community & Unity – Just as no banana ripens alone, no member of the Church stands isolated. We help our fellow believers, in peace and in battle.
Exploration & Discovery – The universe is vast, and somewhere, the Ultimate Banana awaits. We venture into the unknown, guided by the glow of the Sacred Peel.
Article III
– Conduct & Brotherhood
Respect all fellow beings, believers or not. The Banana does not discriminate.
No unnecessary violence—unless the Banana is threatened. Then, and only then, do we peel back our mercy.
Always share the Banana when possible. A banana hoarded is a banana wasted.
Article IV
– The Eternal Mission
We shall expand our faith across the stars, build our wealth with integrity, and spread the joy of the Banana to all who seek enlightenment. Through the Fruit, we are strong. Through the Peel, we are wise. Through the Banana, we shall thrive.
Praise the Peel! Embrace the Fruit! May your cargo hold always be full!