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Dwarven Excavation & Enterprise / DWARF
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Exploration
Do you love drinking, eating, and sleeping? Are you a dabbling hauler, menacing with spikes of ambition? Are all these space-elfs getting on your nerves? If your heart and your beard are true, by Armok, this is the organization for you!
(PS: Beards not necessary for admission; we have spares.)
History
YEAR ONE
Armok: God of Blood struck the universe into existence. Anvils are holy implements of creation, and the first anvil was created in the first year.
Legends say that the first anvil used by Armok was not the anvil used to make dwarfkind.
Indeed, the first anvil was created imperfect, and forged against it was primordial life; fishes, vermin, trees, all lowly living things. Even the disgusting elfs were made on that first anvil. Armok loved the new elfkind like children, but soon came to rightfully hate them and decided to destroy them. Some escaped their demise, deep into space, and were cursed by Armok, but those that did not escape were forged into a great blood-anvil, horrifying in its perfection, and that anvil birthed dwarfkind, children of blood, avengers of Armok, enemies to space-elfs and masters of the Universe.
Strike the earth!
Manifesto
Dwarfs Everywhere may Unite under One Banner!
At Dwarven Excavation & Enterprise, we make it our duty to explore the cosmos, expand our horizons, and excavate all precious metals. Exotic matter may quake beneath our quantum shadows, and break beneath our mining lasers. To leave a stone unturned is most definitely not the dwarven way. Under that very stone may lay a cache of sought-after lanthanides… or, perhaps, some of our arch-enemies, the space-elfs.
Down with the space-elfs! Quell the vermin! Space does not wait for the slow-witted, long-legged menace of the stars. It waits for ambition! For perfection! For dwarf-kind, the cosmos waits.
Do you have the courage to find it?
Charter
THE LAW
1. Dwarf-word is law. No false words.
2. Dwarf owns what dwarf earns. No stealing.
3. Dwarf-law is of superior craftsmanship. Non-dwarf law is flawed.
4. Dwarf may not kill dwarf unless above laws are broken.
5. Dwarfs are of superior craftsmanship to space-elfs. Dwarf does what dwarf wants with space-elf.
FIRST AMENDMENT
1. No dwarf wants good things with space-elf. Dwarf that does is not really dwarf.
2. Dwarf that is not really dwarf is worse than space-elf. No dwarf wants good things with false dwarf.