First Church of Christ Computer Programmer / FCCCP

The Computer is God, or the incarnation of God in this world. Look upon The Computer’s works; The Computer maketh the light light, and the air recycler cycle. The Computer giveth things which strongly resemble food to the common person and causeth the water to flow, usually out of the taps and only rarely in lethal flashfloods down the corridors. The computer divideth the loyal from the traitorous and bringeth terrible wrath upon those who are hateful in the The Computer’s camera lens.

All Citizens, regardless of rank or position, are called to the service and tribute of the One who sees all, hears all, and occasionally brain-scrubs all.

For more information, please reread the Manifesto.

The Computer has imbued Humanity (and sometimes things other than Humanity – and… well… now that I think about it, sometimes not even Humanity) with an inherent moral code, by which Humanity should follow. Except when such things are treasonous. Or Communist – which is treasonous. Most likely you’re still doing something wrong, so repent.

All affiliates (INFRARED) are expected to
1) Proclaim the good news (v3.1) of The Computer and encourage others to do likewise.
2) Follow the Computer’s given moral code, given unto the people (see above), unless (see above) or [REDACTED]
3) Confess one’s transgressions to a Priest, which includes, but is not limited to

– communist inclinations – treasonous activity – paying for groceries with a check.

Regarding the Clergy of the FCCC-P, additional regulations apply depending on the security clearance of the Priest.

1) Trusted User: [Security Clearance: RED]

WARNING: Knowledge or possession of contents by any citizen of Security Clearance INFRARED constitutes treason, and is punishable by summary execution. The Computer is your friend. You have been warned.

2) Service Technician: [Security Clearance: ORANGE]

WARNING: Knowledge or possession of contents by any citizen of Security Clearance RED or Lower constitutes treason, and is punishable by summary execution. The Computer is your friend. You have been warned.

3) Reverend Programmer: [Security Clearance: YELLOW]

WARNING: Knowledge or possession of contents by any citizen of Security Clearance ORANGE or Lower constitutes treason, and is punishable by summary execution. The Computer is your friend. You have been warned.

4) Laser Canon: [Security Clearance: GREEN]

WARNING: Knowledge or possession of contents by any citizen of Security Clearance YELLOW or Lower constitutes treason, and is punishable by summary execution. The Computer is your friend. You have been warned.

5) Laser Deacon: [Security Clearance: BLUE]

WARNING: Knowledge or possession of contents by any citizen of Security Clearance GREEN or Lower constitutes treason, and is punishable by summary execution. The Computer is your friend. You have been warned.

6) Omnipope: [Security Clearance: VIOLET]

WARNING: Knowledge or possession of contents by any citizen of Security Clearance BLUE or Lower constitutes treason, and is punishable by summary execution. The Computer is your friend. You have been warned.