Intergalactic Honey Badger / IHB

crackling static
Hey Rich! I’m taking one of your old broadcasters for this. What? No I didn’t touch your Banu smut, freaking creep. Wait, aw crap its already transmitting.
Ahem.
By placing connector A into the receptacle you complete the… Dude this isn’t the script, where did you put it? How could you have lost the damn script?! It was sitting here yesterday! You know what, no, just forget it. I’ll wing it.

Have you ever gotten tired of your nine to five job? Of your cubicle mate always eating that strange food that smells like it spoiled last week? Or Cindy, the lady down the aisle that has an odd obsession with animals that look like ancient Earths cats?

Well we don’t care, and neither should you!

That’s exactly how we got things rolling with IHB. We just stopped caring about our mediocre lives of mindless drivel and platitudes. We didn’t care for the restricting choke hold that governs that average persons life. So we quit. We just straight up and left, but not before we gave Cindy hell. Bloody critters always mewling…

With hardly an idea of what to do we set out to try and build our own lives, to take the reins back and plough ahead. Well at first it didn’t go too well. Oh the first few days were fine, but it got ugly after a while. Without any income or real skills outside the office we wound up in the bars talking of grand plans more than actually doing anything. With funds starting to run dry we did what we could to keep going, though soon it degraded into taking stupid bets in back alley bars, underground fights, even pimping out Rich a few times. But out of that mess we found our source of money. Being known as desperate. Getting a few creds anyway we could became our calling card.

That’s right, our stupid antics wound up getting our names out as people who would do anything. The first job we ever did was something of a joke, literally we thought it was a joke and figured it would be fun just to do. But we actually wound up getting paid and it dawned on us. We could make money for doing this crap.

We started asking people if they needed any ‘odd’ jobs done that most civies wouldn’t do. Small at first sure, but as word spread that we were willing to do questionable things we gained some notoriety among the locals. Now I’m not saying it was always good work, but we damned well had some good times mixed with the close calls.

Now after some time we gained enough creds to step up our game. We decided that it wasn’t enough to just smuggle illegal plants from the ports or humiliate some local hotshot. We wanted in with the big boys, they guys who were known across planets.

So we bought a ship. The rest is history.

What? Too abrupt? Fine I’ll tell you a bit more.

To keep up with where we wanted to go with this, we cared less. We just plain don’t give a crap now. With our small ship we started taking on risky jobs that ranged from being decoy escorts to tracking down bounties. We didn’t care about the job, just the reward.

Now years later we’ve decide to take on a name and bring our ‘don’t care’ attitude to the big league. We have fought, traded, hunted criminals, and ‘reclaimed’ cargo. We’re the people you can come to with jobs ranging from docile to the absurd. The people who will do what they can to get you what you want.

The people who just don’t care anymore.

So stop caring about what your neighbors think of your garden gnomes, stop caring about your bosses horrible Cologne that you can smell meters away. You should stop caring about when you’re going to finally snap and ream out the guy for his horrid food.

Just stop caring. Because we sure as hell don’t.

So quit that job, leave your old boss in tears with your tirade. Make Cindy regret ever mentioning those horrid little fur balls. Skip the bar brawls and dark alleys. Drop your old life of shame and regret and stop caring about what everyone thinks.

So join the Intergalactic Honey Badger, because we don’t care and neither should you!

Great Rich, the power button isn’t working on this piece of junk. You know what, screw it. gunshot then static