Sauce up, Citizens! LEGLZRANCH is all about loot, laughs, and lawless living. We trade, explore, and pirate—because fortune favors the bold (and well-seasoned). Smuggle, steal, and stack credits with a crew that keeps it fresh. Legalize it. Monetize it. Pulverize it.
History of LEGALIZERANCH
Long before the UEE put its sticky fingers in everyone’s business, before the Advocacy started breathing down necks, and way before some bureaucrat decided space needed rules, there was LEGLZRANCH.
Legend has it that the first Ranchers were a ragtag group of outlaws, traders, and culinary enthusiasts who found themselves marooned on a lawless moon after a particularly ambitious smuggling run went sideways. With nothing but a half-busted Caterpillar, a crate of questionable substances, and an insatiable thirst for credits, they built something beautiful. They bartered with Banu, hustled Humans, and even swindled a Tevarin warlord out of his prized collection of pre-Messer era hot sauces.
As their influence spread, LEGLZRANCH became the go-to name for those who wanted to live fast, trade smart, and never let a good opportunity—or an unattended cargo hold—go to waste. Legends of the Great Stanton Sauce Heist, the Nine Tails Bake Sale Incident, and the Time Someone Actually Paid Taxes (Never Again) are whispered in grimy back alleys across the ‘Verse.
Today, LEGLZRANCH continues the proud tradition of taking what they want, flipping it for a profit, and seasoning every transaction with a healthy dose of chaos. Whether you’re running narcotics past a clueless security checkpoint, “acquiring” rare artifacts, or just vibing in deep space with a hold full of loot, one thing is certain—this Ranch is always open for business.
Legalize it. Monetize it. Pulverize it.
The ‘Verse is full of rules—we don’t follow them. We trade, smuggle, and pirate our way to fortune because credits don’t care how they’re made. LEGLZRANCH isn’t just a crew; it’s a movement. If it’s valuable, we take it. If it’s in our way, we break it. If it pays, we do it.
Legalize it – If there’s demand, we supply—no questions asked.
Monetize it – Flip anything. Cargo, ships, opportunities—it’s all profit.
Pulverize it – Some deals need words. Others need firepower. We bring both.
No masters. No limits. Just credits and chaos. Welcome to the Ranch.
Welcome to the Ranch. We don’t do bureaucracy, but even the wildest crews need a few ground rules. Follow these, and you’ll fit right in. Break them, and you might find yourself on the wrong end of an “unscheduled airlock test.”
1. Credits Over Codes
Laws are just suggestions with bad payout rates. If there’s profit to be made, we take the opportunity—no whining, no hesitation.
2. No Ratting
Snitches get spaced. What happens on the Ranch, stays on the Ranch. If you sell out a crew member, expect your ship to “mysteriously” lose its quantum drive mid-jump.
3. Crew Comes First
We stack credits together, we fight together, we win together. If a Rancher’s in trouble, you back them up. If they owe you money, well… we’ll work something out.
4. Take It, Flip It, Move On
Cargo, ships, high-value targets—if you can grab it, you can sell it. Just don’t get too attached. We’re here to make bank, not hoard junk.
5. The Best Defense is a Preemptive Ambush
If someone’s thinking about messing with us, we remove the “thinking” part. Strike first, strike hard, and leave no salvage behind (unless it’s valuable).
6. Don’t Be Boring
We’re here for loot and laughs. No space accountants, no killjoys. If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong.
7. Legalize It. Monetize It. Pulverize It.
This isn’t just a motto—it’s the way of the Ranch. Live it, breathe it, and make sure everyone else feels it.
Now saddle up, Ranchers. The ‘Verse is ours for the taking.