5 members
Funnyman Freight and Security / NFFSC
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Transport -
Security
No joke, we deliver laughing all the way through Pyro
History
The Crux of the Joke (2948)
The story begins in the cramped, neon-lit corridors of Area18 on ArcCorp. Khaine “Funnyman” Shadowlance was a veteran freelance hauler known across the Stanton system for two things: his impeccable delivery record and his absolutely terrible stand-up comedy routines over the local comms channels. To Funnyman, a bad joke was the only way to stay awake during long, grueling Quantum jumps.
The turning point came during a routine run through the asteroid belts of Yela. Funnyman’s unshielded Hull-B was ambushed by a pack of Nine Tails pirates. When the pirate captain demanded he cut his engines, Funnyman crackled over the open channel:
“why did the pirate go on vacation… He needed a little arrrrg and arrrg.”
While the pirates paused in sheer confusion at the awful joke, Funnyman used the distraction to dump a crate of unstable waste directly into their flight path and hit his afterburners. He survived, but his ship was heavily scarred. He realized two things: hauling in the verse was getting deadlier, and a good distraction is worth its weight in UEC.
From Solo Act to Ensemble (2951)
Realizing he couldn’t survive alone, Funnyman partnered with Zachary Syn, a tight-lipped, no-nonsense ex-Advocacy security pilot who had zero appreciation for comedy but possessed a lethal aim with a laser repeater. Together, they formed Funnyman Freight & Security.
The dynamic was simple: Funnyman brought the business and the banter; Syn brought the firepower. They began recruiting like-minded pilots—haulers who wanted to make an honest living, and combat pilots who preferred a relaxed, tight-knit crew over the rigid, suffocating structure of corporate mega-corps like Hurston Dynamics.
The Modern Verse: Serious Business, Casual Vibes
Today, Funnyman Freight & Security has evolved from a three-man operation into a respected, mid-sized syndicate. Operating out of a repurposed hangar, the org specializes in high-risk cargo transport through treacherous sectors like the Pyro jump point, backed by an escort fleet that plays no games.
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Manifesto
THE FUNNYMAN MANIFESTO
The verse is a cold, dark, and remarkably stiff place. Between the suffocating bureaucracy of the UEE, the humorless corporate overlords at Hurston and MicroTech, and the dead-eyed pirates waiting in the black, everyone is taking themselves way too seriously.
We choose a different path.
Funnyman Freight & Security was founded on a simple truth: space is a hell of a lot more fun when you’re laughing. We don’t wear pristine corporate suits, we don’t do military roll calls, and we definitely don’t tolerate dry Quantum jumps. But make no mistake—our lax attitude is not a lack of capability.
We operate under three core directives:
1. The Haul is Sacred
When a client trusts us with their cargo, it becomes our absolute priority. Whether it’s a Hull-C packed with industrial titanium or a single box of black-market WiDoW destined for the back alleys of GrimHEX, we deliver on time, every time. If we say it’s getting there, it’s getting there. No jokes about the job.
2. Smile, You’re on Target
Our security wing plays no games. We maintain a lethal, razor-sharp escort fleet because we know the galaxy is full of people who think a funny name makes us an easy target. Let them think that. While they’re trying to figure out our punchline, our fighters are already locking missile tracks. We don’t fire first, but we always get the last laugh.
3. Crew Over Corporate
We are an organization built on camaraderie, not a hierarchy. We look out for our own. No pilot flies alone into hostile territory, and every member gets a fair cut of the UEC. We take the contract seriously, but we never take ourselves seriously.
To our clients: Relax. Your cargo is in safe, cheerful hands.
To the outlaws: Keep your distance. If you hear a Funnyman pilot telling a joke over the local comms, it’s already too late to jump.
Funnyman Freight & Security. Smiles guaranteed. Pirates dismantled.
Charter
The Rules of the Road
1. The Golden Rule: Be Good, Don’t Suck
We love banter, bad jokes, and keeping things casual, but respect is non-negotiable. Treat your fellow org members—and the wider community—with basic human decency. No racism, bigotry, or targeted harassment. If your “joke” is just being a jerk, you’re missing the point of the org.
2. Follow Cloud Imperium Games (CIG) Terms of Service
No cheating, exploiting glitches to ruin other players’ experience, or network manipulation. If you get your account banned by CIG for toxic behavior, cheating, or stream-sniping, you are automatically out of the org. We play by the rules of the universe.
3. Real Life First (RLF)
Star Citizen is an alpha game with long insurance timers, frustrating bugs, and massive time investments. Real life always comes first. There are no mandatory attendance sheets, no forced operations, and no penalties for taking a break from the game. Fly when you can, laugh when you’re here.
4. No Friendly Fire or “Amshening”
Accidents happen during chaotic dogfights or bunker runs. However, intentional friendly fire, stealing an org mate’s cargo, or looting a fallen ally’s gear without permission is strictly forbidden. We protect our own; we don’t prey on them.
5. Clear Comms During Operations
When we are actively running a high-risk cargo haul or engaged in PvP fleet defense, keep the voice channels clear of excessive clutter. Jokes are welcome during the long Quantum jumps, but when the guns start firing, listen to the designated Fleet Lead or Security Coordinator.
6. Keep In-Game “Grey-Area” Activities Within the Org Vibe
We are a Freight and Security org. While accidental crimestats or taking a shady contract for quick UEC is part of the game, outright griefing, pad-ramming, or random piracy against peaceful civilian players under the Funnyman banner is not allowed. We want pirates to fear us, and haulers to respect
