Gyar! Why is the rum always gone?
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The New Tortuga Militia formed one dreary day on Port Olisar when two old friends were passing the time over some drink. Gunnarr looked up at Cethion over the brim of his pint and said, “Hey… let’s go steal shit.”
To which Cethion pondered for a long moment before replying with a shrug, “Why not?”
And thus the militia was founded.
Damn ye, ye are a sneaking puppy, and so are all who admit to be governed by laws rich men have made for their own security, for the cowardly whelps have not the courage otherwise to defend what they get by their knavery. But damn ye altogether! Damn them as a pack of crafty rascals. And you (captains and sailors) who serve them, a passel of hen-hearted numbskulls! They vilify us, the scoundrels do, where there is only this difference: they rob the poor under the cover of law, while we plunder the rich under the cover of our own courage.
I am a free Prince, and I have as much authority to make war on the whole world as he who has a hundred ships at sea and 100,000 men in the field. And this my conscience tells me. There is no arguing with sniveling puppies who allow superiors to kick them about the deck at pleasure and who pin their faith upon a parson, a squab who neither practices nor believes what he tells the chuckle-headed fools he preaches to.
We in The Militia have cast off the shackles of society. No rich man takes the fruit of our labors under the guise of law. Those who join us know that the rule of law only serves those too feeble to earn their own keep while standing atop the shoulders of their betters. We have cast aside the yoke that enslaves men to such creatures, and take what we will. And in our taking, we would see such deviants fall as all they’ve built comes crashing down around them.
This is what we take away from Sam Bellamy’s words. This is what being a member of The Militia means. This is what life is under The Skull and Cross Beers! I won’t promise you riches and wealth. I won’t promise you fame and glory. And I damn sure won’t promise you an easy life. What I will promise is that you will keep what you earn, and no one sitting behind a desk will profit from your labor. The Captains will work alongside the Sprogs, and even the Founders themselves will be mired in the blood and muck as we all fight shoulder to shoulder against those that would see us back to chains.
1) REAL LIFE COMES FIRST
I don’t think this needs to be expounded upon.
2) ROCK THE VOTE
“Every man shall have an equal vote in affairs of moment. He shall have an equal title to the fresh provisions or strong liquors at any time seized, and shall use them at pleasure unless a scarcity makes it necessary for the common good that a retrenchment may be voted.”
This has to do with out of battle affairs. In battle, the head of the fleet and ship captain’s word is law.
3) BE SMART: DON’T STEAL FROM PIRATES
“Every man shall be called fairly in turn by the list on board of prizes, because over and above their proper share, they are allowed a shift of clothes. But if they defraud the company to the value of even one dollar in plate, jewels, or money, they shall be marooned. If any man rob another, he shall have his nose and ears slit, and be put ashore where he shall be sure to encounter hardships.”
If you rob, steal, lie to, or cheat anybody within The New Tortuga Militia you will be kicked out. If it’s severe enough, we’ll do everything we can to blow you up as soon as you break atmo.
4) KEEP BATTLE-READY
“Each man shall keep his piece, ship and small arms, at all times clean and ready for action.”
If a time has been given for the fleet to be ready and you aren’t ready, you can either do something else or try and play catch up. We leave at the assigned time. No more waiting an hour for people to play catch up.
5) NEVER BRING YOUR DATE HOME
“No prostitute shall be allowed amongst them. If anyone shall be found seducing one of any sex [male, female, trans, non-binary, attack helicopter, or whatever] and carrying them to space in disguise, they shall suffer not only a swift kick in the arse, but loss in shares.”
Bring your spouse along, or even somebody you’re in a serious relationship. But do NOT bring a casual fling or new relationship here. Make sure it’s solid. If it ends and it gets ugly, we don’t want to be dragged into any of your bull shit and drama.
6) STAND BY YOUR HEARTIES, BUT DON’T FALL BEHIND
“He that shall desert the ship or his quarters in the time of battle shall be punished by death or marooning, but those who fall behind get left behind.”
If we are fighting, stick with us. Don’t ditch out when the order to stand and fight has been given.
“He that is captured and beyond saving, or that falls behind in a retreat shall be left to his own hardships. The priority is securing the booty, and escaping with as many men alive as possible. The crew is more important than the individual.”
We’ll save your ass if we can. Nobody wants to leave people behind. But if we can’t, then we can’t. It will be up to the fleet commander to weigh the risk vs reward.
7) SETTLE DISPUTES ONSHORE (WITH PISTOLS & CUTLASSES, OF COURSE)
“None shall strike another on board the ship or engage in ship to ship combat, but every man’s quarrel shall be ended onshore by pistol or Arena Commander. If pistols, it shall be settled in this manner: at the word of command from the Quartermaster, each man being previously placed back to back, shall turn and fire immediately. If any man do not, the Quartermaster shall knock the piece out of his hand. If by Arena Commander, those in conflict shall agree upon a ship and then fight until one of them is destroyed.”
If we’re on an op, don’t fuck around and shoot each other. That will result in forfeiture of shares, at the very least. We may be pirates, but we’re not a marauding band of orks ready to turn on each other at any given moment. Maintain discipline, or fly with somebody else. If the dispute is bad enough that it requires bloodshed, than it shall be handled in an agreed upon manner.
8) LOSE A LIMB, GET WORKER’S COMP
“Every man who shall become a cripple or lose a limb in the service shall have eight hundred pieces of eight from the common stock, and for lesser hurts proportionately.”
If you get injured on an op, we pay your medical bill from the haul or common stock.
Every NTM member is entitled to a full share. Affiliates and mercenaries will be decided when the fleet convenes. 30% of the profits will go back to the NTM War Chest. Tax rate shall be voted upon at every moot. An operation shall be considered an official NTM operation when it meets the following criteria: 1) Fleet commander is elected and it is declared on. 2) 3+ ships OR 5+ members get together and take a prize (pirate a ship and in some way profit off of it).
10) PIRATE MOOTS
We’ll try and meet once a month to discuss stuff.
11) RESPECT SURRENDER
“The killing of surrendered enemies is not allowed, unless they be targets of War. And respect somebody under the terms of parlay.”
Do not kill surrendering clients, unless we are actively at war with their organization. When you fly under our flag, you represent all of us. We are not berserker murderers. We are not griefers. We are pirates, and we live and die by our reputation. The fleet commander will use his best judgement in regards to a parlay request, but will have to explain himself to a jury of his peers if members of his fleet feel he violated parlay.
12 RESPECT YOUR HEARTIES
“Every man shall give each other due respect.”
Respect each other, but bear in mind that we’re an offensive lot. We joke and tease. Remember that it’s a joke, not a dick, so don’t take it so hard. But people also have different limits. If somebody asks you to back off, then do so.
13) WE DO NOT SOW
We reav. We’re not bloody lawyers. Respect the spirit of the law, and don’t quibble over the exact wording.
If the situation warrants it (is not in the heat of combat), then a trial can be held. You can have a speedy trial, where you plead your case while the accuser pleads his to the Commissar and Quartermaster, and they will determine your fate OR you can have a trial by a jury of your peers. An odd number is chosen, and depending on availability a Division head (defendant can pick if both are available) presides over the proceedings. Witnesses can be called. Witnesses can be neither judge or jury.