Smiling Dog Crew / SDC

The Smiling Dog Crew (hereon SDC) is a highly aligned, but loosely coupled consortium of emergent content creation professionals that operate out of several locations in core space, serving key constituencies in the Crusader, Hurston, and greater Stanton cluster metropolitan areas. Our professionals in the field pride themselves on delivering above standard processing and creative solutions for stakeholders in both Griefer-to-Carebear (“G2C”) and Griefer-to-Griefer (“G2G”) market segments.

SDC specializes in high velocity and impactful deliveries of content through precision deployments and bespoke tactical targeting. We pride ourselves on providing top-tier Straight-Thru-The-Cockpit (STTC) service for all citizens, regardless of financial situation, demographic characteristics, or affiliation. SDC is an equal opportunity service provider—no citizen is absolved from a fully customized, and highly personalized solution. There is no escape from service of this level of quality.

1. Maximize Smiles Per Gallon (“SPG”).
2. Always Be Boosting (“ABB”).
3. Mine Salt.
4. Never Get Salty (“NGS”).

SDC CERTIFICATIONS
Cumulative Points & Corresponding Ranking

• 0 to 5 Points: Scro-tier
• 6 to 10 Points: Braben-kin
• 11 to 15 Points: Griefer Actual
• 15 to 20 Points: True-born Griefer
• 20+ Points: Pirate Lord

1. GHX Certification – for closing Grimhex for 3 consecutive hours with no “leakage.”
2. IFCS Off Certification – make an opponent disagree with the way you fly.
3. Do a Piracy Certification – Steal a ship. Kill the pilot. Manually unload cargo into your own ship and sell it.
4. Griefer, Esq. Certification – grief an opponent so hard they sue you in a court of law.
5. Ghostery Certification – grief and destroy the same streamer on 3 separate occasions without being made.
6. Intolerable Behavior Certification – received a personal overture from someone on CIG’s staff begging for mercy.
7. Braben Legacy Certification – destroy a CIG employee in (dis)honorable combat in game.
8. Fraggle Rock Certification – destroy 3 consecutive ships with 1 ram each, using the same ship.
9. Buy a Sidewinder Certification – destroy a trade ship filled with more than 1,000,000 UEC worth of cargo.
10. Order 69 Certification – infiltrate and destroy a multi-crew ship from the inside out.
11. D90J Certification – steal an 890J, populate a 4+ citizen deathmatch, and be the last man standing.
12. Kansas City Shuffle Certification – gank a community event and frame another group “[Group] sends their regards.”
13. Tourney Rules Certification – dunk on a “pvper” with an ego and hit them with a “tourney rules” or “git gud” – get challenged to 1v1 in AC or in a specific ship.
14. I am the Captain Now Certification – steal a ship with a citizen on board. Destroy the ship with the citizen on board in anyway way possible.
15. Assigned Homework Certification – capture evidence of other orgs getting “dirt” on you and doing their due diligence.
16. You Can’t Escape Games Certification – kill a citizen who then posthumously recognizes you from any other game.
17. The Karen Certification – grief a citizen so hard they try to “get you in trouble” with your org.
18. Filet o’ fish Certification – destroy a trader ship’s engines such that they fall to the planet and explode on impact.
19. Why? Certification – grief a citizen who then asks “why?” in global chat.
20. Free Karma Certification – grief hard enough to generate your own reddit or spectrum topic post.
21. Salt Mining Certification – kill a mining ship with your own mining ship’s mining laser.
22. Good Griefer Certification – be thanked by your victim in global chat for any reason.
23. Happy Family Certification – wipe out a carebear picnic: destroy a congregation of 3+ ships and their citizens as they flee in terror.
24. “PvP Solutions” Certification – receive formal notice from CIG that your in-game behavior will NOT be tolerated.
25. Shitpost Crusader Certification – receive formal notice from CIG that your forum opinions will NOT be tolerated.