We at Space Weed are committed to you, our loyal customers. Though we are relatively new, we pride ourselves on offering the best inter-planetary courier service available to those who dabble in the interstellar substance trade.
We fly through space, so you can too.
Welcome to Space Weed, the brainchild of a few lowly UUEE college friends and a ship mechanic.
The corporation stemmed from what our mechanic friend, LuminousFisch, discovered in his years servicing the platitude of civilian vessels stationed on Earth; that there is an explicit and untapped market for the discrete transportation of controlled and uncontrolled substances. This market, as he so vehemently described to us, the rest of the founders, was a bustling mess. UEE police and interdictors would constantly crack down on the unorganized efforts of the decentralized networks of “space dealers” throughout the Empire. “Fish” realized quick that instead of breaking his back inside the engines of ships he could never afford, he could just snatch some poor Cutlass captain’s stash and build an Empire of his own.
Now, though she wasn’t christened, Space Weed was born on that day. Not less then a few hours after he “borrowed” those few pounds of [redacted] he came speeding up to the dormitory where the rest of us were stationed in a brand new M50 and it became instantly obvious that there was a lot of money to be made. With an ear-to-ear grin streaking across his greasy face, an ecstatic Fish held up a cute little jar with the remaining [redacted]. “It’s time guys, I’ve got the idea and you have the brains,” he said as he distributed the crumbs of his find earlier in the day. We took him up on his proposal on the spot.
None of us remember clearly what happened that night, but at dawn the next day, we regained conciseness with a fully drafted charter at our feet and scrawled across the heading, SPACE WEED INCORPERATED. It was at that moment, we realized the magnitude of the situation; Staring us in the face was an ‘out’ to the dreary drudge of the UEE higher education system; A delivery service that operates at the edges of the law, though not outside, to offer like-minded rebels and thrill seekers to get their fix safely and reliably. Fish, myself, and our self-styled human-supremacist friend Nathaniel took to work in our sobriety instantly, researching and networking to find out whether or not our loans could be redirected to purchase ships and fuel, and where in the world we could find suppliers.
None of that took long. Those of us that were still enrolled took to the end of the academic year to make our peace; we dolled about trading networks looking for beater ships that could be easily put back into orbit with a little work, and trolled the academic body for anyone who knew of or could get us a reliable supplier. It took a few months, of which Fish gradually amassed a heap of the same goodies that bought him his M50, to get on track, but success eventually found us and our venture; Selling the majority of his second ‘borrowed’ stash, we were able to afford the business license and be able to front enough money to make the down payments on several of our smaller vessels, giving us the infrastructure to get on our feet. Finally, as the academic year ended, we took to space in our makeshift armada.
This was just a few years ago. Armed with nothing besides the M50, and a few Mustangs, the company began it’s career ferrying between dealer networks and once in a blue moon delivering ourselves. As we grew, albeit slowly, we added a Gladius as an anti-interdiction ship to accompany us in the case we ran into problems. Eventually, we would come to add a Retaliator to the arsenal for the unlucky instance we would cross a well armed carrier group of un-friendlies.
It’s taken hard work and more then a few close calls, but from nothing but a pipe dream we grew this company with the few pennies we had in our pockets as students to the behemoth personal courier service it is today. And we will admit, those of you that have offered us samples over the years, we have indulged, and approve of your choice flavors.
Space Weed is a company that relies on its customers as much as they rely on us. We pride ourselves as the peoples’ choice when it comes to delivering their goods on time, without fail, and have worked tirelessly to keep our personal image and record spotless.
This dedication to perfection, or rather “Minnesota Niceness” as we in the company so warmly espouse, drives every interaction with you, the customer; as much as we pride ourselves on logistical perfection, we feel that in an age where everything is built of cold metal, everyone could use a little warmth in their lives. We at Space Weed have taken it upon ourselves to treat those same dedicated customers as one of our growing family. Times have even arisen where our drivers have taken not only customer packages, but human cargo as well, ferrying customers in a pinch across space on a moment’s notice. Hell, less than a month into our official operation, one of our drivers took it upon himself to help a pregnant couple make it to the hospital bay when he learned they were waiting of their ride. The driver, who will remained unnamed on his own request, received naught but a thanks in return.
That story encompasses what we at Space Weed value: Community. We have over the last several years grown as both a corporate community, (although it doesn’t always feel like we’re an official company now,) but as the star in the center of an every growing community of loyal customers and fans alike. We have made lifelong friends in the business already, and will continue to do so until we directors are old and senile.
Our point is that there is nothing more precious than the warmth you feel when you integrate into a second family. We know, that is a very sentimental idea, especially for a for-profit corporation, but it is that very sentiment that founded this company. Though it started way before we were born into this universe under the corporate nomenclature, we recognize our roots as founders and only wish to spread that meaning into others’ lives, both commercial and personal. We are, in reality, just a big family. Through the proliferation of our trade and the joyous consequence of the goods we trade in, we can only hope that a few of you decide to join us.
The Corporation, SPACE WEED (SPWD)
The SPWD is hereby recognized as a UEE licensed business, in accordance with UEE law and retains all the privileges this status affords. The UEE recognizes SPWD as a legitimate business operating in accordance to UEE trading codes, tariffs and import bans.
Businesses in this category of civilian ownership are entitled to their own defensive measures, counter measures, and offensive capability. This business is however not subject to nor can they benefit from Defense Contractor grade subsidies as the organization is classified as a Title 2 small business.
This certificate is subject to renewal after a period of two years according to 29 U.E.E Code, Chapter 71
Legally, we are required to list our policies here as well. Forgive the formalities:
In ordinance with UEE trading codes, it is required for you the customer to “disclose” the contents of your packages on pick-up. NOTE: We are not required to search your packages, but need to keep a tab on the general substances within for our personal records. The UEE’s customs office rarely physically inspects the contents of our ships, but in order to keep operating within the law, we need to be able to generate a generalized digital shipping tag.
Our ships are not outfitted for chemically unstable contents, this is a personal choice on the part of our drivers.
We will not tolerate harassment of any kind. Take that up with your dealer.
Explosives, outside that of electronically disarm-able munitions is prohibited. It puts our drivers at risk.
The “explicit” reference to UEE controlled substances will result in the denial of your package. We are understanding, but this puts us in a legally comprisable position.
“Paraphernalia,” another common good we transport, is legally undefined and therefor free game. That said, don’t ship your brand new ZERO-Gravity Bong in its original package. Those things are awesome and our packers and drivers would love a look-see.
We DO NOT ship anything that isn’t well sealed. We recognize the dangers of something wafting into the air of a ship compartment and impairing the pilots. Double-Vacuumed seals work best.
SPACE WEED INC. reserves the right to refuse services on any basis. Though we generally hate doing this, if you live in an area that is a legitimate danger or you haven’t been the nicest or well mannered, we will usually consider meeting in a neutral location for delivery.
CONT. In the case of our pilots(s) NATHANIEL (ISHT), FISCHER (LF), and COLE (MXR), we realize that for religious reasons, they cannot offer services to non-humans and those who do not share their “pure” R1a, R1b and I1 haplogroups. Please indicate heritage during service subscription to make this easier on us.
Space Weed does not officially support the Xi’An language, but will accommodate customers to the best of our ability upon pickup and delivery. After all, personal translators are cheap these days.
Keep in mind, this list is subject to change in the future as we expand the company. If you have any quarrels, send us a message directly so we can argue why we’re right to your face.