Stellar Winds [STWD] - Organizations - Roberts Space Industries

Stellar Winds is a multifaceted corporation aiming to provide the lowest quality services in fields such as:

Cargo Redistribution,
Currency Exchange,
Ship Acquisition,
Rehabilitation Transport,

and many other key sectors.

History

About

Established in 2949, Stellar Winds was founded to provide niche services to discerning customers in the UEE. What started as a podcast has shifted into a private corporation of the lowest standards.

Currently operating in Stanton, we have plans for a future expansion into the Pyro system. Wherever you might find yourself, a Stellar Winds specialist is always nearby and ready to fulfill your needs.

Customer Information

If you’re a new or returning customer of Stellar Winds and want more information about us feel free to drop by our Discord or join us on Spectrum

If you’ve been assisted by one of our specialists and wish to leave feedback, you can do so at http://oof.yeet.rip.

Manifesto

Small print leads to large risk.

Every Stellar Winds business transaction is governed by two hundred and eighty-five Rules of Acquisition, to ensure a fair and honest deal for all parties concerned; well, most of them anyway.

What’s in it for me?

Here are some of the more pertinent rules that may affect your dealings with our family of companies:

RoA No. 1: Once you have their money, you never give it back.
RoA No. 9: Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
RoA No. 10: Greed is eternal.
RoA No. 21: Never place friendship above profit.
RoA No. 34: War is good for business.
RoA No. 35: Peace is good for business.
RoA No. 52: Why ask, when you can take?
RoA No. 98: Every man has his price.
RoA No. 109: Dignity and an empty sack are worth the empty sack.
RoA No. 141: Only fools pay retail.
RoA No. 168: Whisper your way to success.
RoA No. 190: Hear all, trust nothing.
RoA No. 217: You can’t free a fish from water.
RoA No. 239: Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
The Unwritten Rule: When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.

Charter

Article 1.

I. Name

A. This corporation shall be known as Stellar Winds Corp., LLC, Inc., GMbH, Co. & Son, hereafter referred to as “SWC”.

II. Mandate

A. The purpose of the Stellar Winds Corp. shall be to:
1. Make money.
2. Cause others to lose money.
3. Provide satisfaction for its owners.
4. Ensure chaos and instability wherever its agents purvey their crafts.
B. This charter was granted in accordance with the Policies & Procedures outlined by the Legislation of the Congress of the United Earth Empire. [Original charter bears the signature and seal of the then-incumbent High Secretary, Illyana Sharrad; available for review upon request.]

Article 2.

III. Board of Directors

A. The Board of Directors shall consist of:
1. The Founders
2. Chief Financial Officer
3. Director of Sentient Resources
4. VP of Cargo Redistribution
5. VP of Currency Exchange
6. VP of Correctional Activities
7. VP of Teledildonics

IV. Meetings

A. Meetings shall be held whensoever The Founders damn well please.

B. Minutes shall not be made available to the Shareholders under any circumstances.

V. Employees

A. Employees of SWC are expected to conduct themselves the basest manner possible at all times.

B. Should an employee be found not to be taking graft from their area of operation, they shall be subject to punishment or termination (from employment or life).

C. Employees are expected to memorize the 285 Rules of Acquisition, and conduct all business transactions taken in the name of SWC under the guidance of the Rules.
1. Employees are expected to throw the Rules of Acquisition out the nearest airlock the moment the interests of SWC and its agents runs in direct conflict to following the Rules.

Stellar Winds / STWD