Texas Space Rangers / TEXASS

-2040 Oregon governor Willy “Cherry Jubilee” Thompson has been elected the first trans president of the United States of America. She/Her/they/them/it’s first executive act was to sell the country to the pharmaceutical megacorporation Nodikatol, known for mass-producing puberty blockers. This act lead to the immediate succession of Texas and the land of Oklahoma, which Texas had already claimed as its own during the food wars of 2031. The rest of the country, seeing Texas succeed tried to follow suit, resulting in a mass exodus away from the huge cities. The state of California announced it was going to succeed and close its borders also. There was a day of celebration in the rest of the country after California’s announcement, with every city supplying buses to California for any that wanted to go. President Cherry jubilee then forced a mass shutdown of all borders, highways, and airports. The resulting protests from she/her/it/zey/zem actions burned most of the metropolitan areas to the ground. Smoke filled the skies, and refugees fled to the surrounding rural areas. Texas announced they would keep their border open for one week and then seal the now finished Trump wall, which no longer was along the border, but encompassed the entire state. And any refugees would be taken in during this time, but any with dyed hair colors or rainbow/triangle/Satanist tattoos would be classified as second class citizens and treated accordingly.

-2045 Elon Musk changed the production of Tesla car factory in Austin, from ground based cars to space faring vehicles, and Texas planted its own flag on the moon at the end of the year.

-2050 The “War of Nothern Aggression the sequel” begins as the impoverished remains of the United States of Nodikatol tries to invade sovereign Texas. The U.S. demanded that Texas rejoin the union and all of its resources will be under direct control of the newly formed House of Political Corrections and its militant force known as Kittens. The Kittens, wearing their signature ballistic helmets with cat ears on top, attempted to cross the border of Texas but were stopped at the Trump wall due to none of the commanders of the Kittens not bringing a ladder. The Kittens then switched tactics to laying siege and throwing their own fecal matter and used feminine hygiene products at the base of the wall. Creating a toxic barrier and then blockading all Texas products from being exported. The rest of the United States of Nodikatol was enraged by the inflated prices of salsa and barbeque, and were fed misinformation by the House of political Correction owned media channel, and told that Texas would only sell to cis white males.

-2051 Texas Space Rangers are established and operate out of a orbiting space station known named “Charles Norris 1”.Their uniform consisting of state of the art blue and black battle ready armor and helmet, capable of keeping rangers alive in the vacuum of space for a limited time, and impenetrable to small arms ammunitions. the only markings are the Texas flag on each shoulder, a white star on the left chest and titanium spurs attached to each boot. The rangers utilized orbital drop ships to quickly deploy from the station. Dropping at high speeds through the earth’s atmosphere, heating the hulls of the drop ships and crashing into the ground creating craters wherever they landed. The rangers would then march from the ship dispensing Texas justice to any in their path, leaving only carnage and the distinctive boot prints of the spur clad battle armored sabatons, in the aftermath.

-2052 The United States of Nodikatol declares surrender and signs a treaty with Texas known as the Recalibration Accords. The treaty reset the Nation back to its former organization after Nodikatol declared bankruptcy. Texas would remain independent but act as a consultant on any acts the country may take. An addendum to the treaty was that anyone wearing pink cat ears would immediately be accused of treason and could be shot on sight or hunted for sport.

Texas remained independent and a world power until the formation of the United Earth Empire. Texas joined the UEE in 2383 under the stipulation that at any time Texas could succeed from the organization and any opposing force would be met with “hostilities that would scar their grandchildren’s grandchildren”

MEMBER BIOS

-2927 Arty “Tazzbeats” Hernandez was born in the suburbs of Port Olisar. Abandoned by his parents at Grim Hex space station, at the age of 12 after showing tendencies that border on sociopathic behavior. Left on his own with no choice he joined up with a small time pirate band, and began learning the ins and outs of smuggling, trafficking, and kestering evidence to hide it from the police. Tazzbeats became a ace pilot and quickly rose in the ranks of his outfit until a brutal argument with his boss over the moral implications of maiming and torturing hostages vs killing them quickly. Tazzbeats set out on his own to find a new direction in the verse. While out doing flybys on college female dorm windows, Tazzbeats saw a dogfight between the Texas Space Rangers and a group of corrupt police in their patrol ships. Tazzbeats not knowing they were corrupt, joined the fight just wanting to shoot some coppers. The TSR seeing Tazzbeats impressive combat flight skills recruited him on the spot. And Tazzbeats, bored with nothing to do, and a promise of booze at his graduating ceremony of TSR bootcamp and a chance to show off, took the offer.

-2720 Rando “Yashiya” Fallentree was born. In the slums of small textile colony, he worked as a child laborer in sweatshop owned by a interstellar celebrity, until a Vanduul raiding party kidnapped him. The Vanduul forced Yashiya to work on repairing their ships in the small cramped areas where only small child hands would reach. In order for Yashiya to learn the complex systems of the ships, the Vanduuls locked him in a room for weeks at at time with nothing but wall to wall engineering manuals, beat him any time they saw him not reading, and only fed him when he finished a book. Years later among the engineering manuals Yashiya found a cybernetic and biology manual misplaced there. He read and memorized every page before eating the book to hide that he had it from his captors. Then using this knowledge and stealing parts piece by piece every time he worked on a ship, he slowly began to alter his own body with cybernetic implants all while in captivity. One night the Vanduul left a small female as his room guard. Yashiya had finally managed to steal a mini quantum battery to power some of his implants and felt capable of over powering his guard and finally escaping his torment. When the guard opened the door to take out Yashiya’s poop bucket, he pounced on her. The Vanduul woman being from a nomadic war like tribe easily overpowered Yashiya, but mistook the attack for a mating ritual. The next few hours were the most horrific of Yashiya“s life and scarred him both physically and mentally. The guard took pity on Yashiya afterwards and may have even developed feelings for the imprisoned human. She snuck him out the same night and put him on a trade ship back to a human planet. After returning to civilization and no idea what to do with his life he began to take small jobs to fuel his new found addiction of replacing parts of his body with cybernetic enhancements he designed himself. Once he had replaced all his internal organs except his brain, he finally felt safe, but lonely due to his lack of social skills from living most of his life in captivity. Now essentially immortal due to being more machine than man he searched for friends and a group to belong to. After hundreds of years of attempting social interactions with on a variety of planets, but always being ran off due to his freakish robotic appearance, He came across the TSR battling off a Vanduul raid. Emotions and flashbacks flooded Yashiya’s brain almost causing a shut down of several of his internal systems. Yashiya joined the fray and after their victory Yashiya requested immediate entry in to the TSR.

-2912 Jos “Korsair Starjammer” Goldenstern was born. Raised on orison by extremely wealthy parents, Korsair enjoyed a life of privileges’ very few others in the verse could ever dream of. Until one day while traveling with his father to trade in their 600I for a new one, due to his mother spilling wine on one of the couches, they were attacked by pirates. Korsair and his father tried to explain to the pirates that people of their station were not allowed to be accosted by the lesser class and their lawyers were going to have a grand time with this lawsuit. To which the pirates responded by beating them, and sending a ransom cybermail to their mother for 5 million UEC. The mother insulted that the pirates asked so little of an amount, instead contacted the Texas Space Rangers to rescue her husband and son. The TSR quickly arrived and young Korsair had the vision of the heroic trained rangers, blasting through the docking port and violently laying waste the the dirty poor vagabond pirates, forever burned into his memory. On that day Korsair vowed to one day join them. He set out on his 18th birthday to their enlistment center but the recruitment officer kept insisting on something called a PT test that Korsair had no intention of doing anything that involved sweating or running, but the recruitment officer kept refusing the UEC that Korsair was offering. He walked out angry that the officer wasn’t understanding the concept of money, and kept talking about his boots going to a camp. Firstly his shoes were endangered hurston bear leather loafers, that cost more than the officers house, and second what would his shoes do at a camp? only poor people went to camp. Across the street Korsair noticed several rangers going into a disgusting dive bar full of the kinds of people that he saw in his fathers factories. On impulse Korsair followed them and sat within ear shot of the rangers table. He ordered a drink that he heard one of the rangers order, and pretended to sip the vile concoction that smelled to him as what a destitute hobo would drink., nothing like the fine liquors his father drank in their fourth vacation home. Korsair hung on every word and over the next few months as he tracked groups of rangers from place to place learning their mannerisms, vocabulary choices, and style. Then he developed a plan to become a ranger that didn’t involve and grueling work or any other impoverished activity that ill-mannered officer had mentioned. After months of studying the rangers and practicing at home the their way of speech and body language in front of his bathroom mirror and personal bathroom attendant, He felt he was ready to enact the next stage of his plan. Korsair called for his fathers personal tailor from the south wing of their house and had him stitch a exact replica of a rangers uniform. Then donning the new uniform with the modest rank of two-star general he headed down to the impoverished side of town, back to the tavern he had seen the rangers frequent. Moments later Korsair experienced the second beating of his life and was tossed broken and bloody into the street, the uniform having been ripped from his body with barely enough tatters to cover his modesty. Korsair confused by the shouts of “fake-ass wannabe” and “stolen valor” as he had not even touched anything in the bar, much less stolen anything. He crawled back to where his chauffer waited in the hover-car to rethink his plan. After several more months of watching every vid and documentary he could find on the holonet of the rangers. Korsair was ready to try again, this time he only wore the much more modest rank of captain. Korsair entered the local ranger hangout but this time instead a beating, Korsair was swept up into a stampede as the rangers had just received an omega alert that one of their own had been attacked by the dreaded space pirate Krakenbeard, and the rangers were rushing to their ships and Korsair was caught up in their wake, and within a few moments was strapped into a cutlass drop ship seat with 6 other rangers as they raced to the quantum beacon. Once they dropped out of quantum, Korsair was caught up in the chaos of the moment, The cutlass’ bay doors all opened at once, the sound of rangers on door mounted repeaters firing into the void of space as pirate fighter ships zoomed to and fro in the distance. Korsair was shocked unable to move ,just watching the battle unfold around him. Some private screamed something, but his eardrums had popped due to the cutlass shield taking damage from incoming fire and the air pressure in the ship being sucked out into space and constantly replenished by the ships oxy vents. The young ranger screamed some more and pushed a helmet into Korsair’s hands before moving on to assist a door gunner switching out powercells. Korsair shakily slid the helmet over his head and began to unbuckle from the dropseat, His internal helmet communicator transmitting the shout orders and pleas from the rangers around him. Their ship was badly damaged and was being tractor beamed into the hold of Krakenbeard’s own pirate wargalley. The rangers knowing they had been defeated began to cast about for what to do. Upon seeing the rank of captain Korsair wore, they turned to him for those anserws. “captain whats our next move? Captain do you have a plan? Captain Billy is hit and bleeding out! Captain Captain Captain!” Korsair just stared at them each in turn, his mind blank, A feeling of uselessness began to overwhelm him. now the ship settled into the cargo hold of the pirate vessel. The doors at the far end opened with a hiss and a giant of a man in heavy armor strode forward. His black armore had been polished to a stunnimg glare but he wore no helmet so that his long dreadlocked beard could cascade down his chest giving him his namesake, Krakenbeard. He marched towards the cutlass every step seeming to send vibrations straight into Korsair’s soul. He knew fake or not, he was the highest rank on board, and this pirate would torture, kill and rape him, but only God knew which order it would happen in.
Korsair’s peripheral vision saw a pistol still in the weapons’ mount next to the rear door. All he wanted was to get to the pistol, if he could shoot himself before the massive giant could get to him, a cowards death better than a heroes long humiliating soul crushing tormented death. He surged forward, his intent on grabbing the pistol and turning it on himself before any could stop him. But the rangers being trained soldeiers with quick reflexes saw Korsair dash toward the pirate and mistook his cowardly attempt as a heroic last effort charge towards Krakenberad. Just as Korsair ripped the pistol from its mount the rangers screamed out battle cries and surged forward. Startled and off balance, Korsair tripped falling forward and the pistol going off as he hit the ground. Korsair laid on the ground and tried to be still so that the chargers did not trample him, but the only thing that hit him was the abrupt silence. Korsair popped one eye open and glanced around. Everything had stopped, The rangers stared at him, the pirates stared at him, Krakken beard stared at… the ceiling? Kraken beard fell forward as his huge body finally realized the new hole that appeared in his head had ended the brute’s brain functions. Korsair’s accidental shot had taken Kraken beard deadcenter of his meaty forhead. The rangers’ training took over and they charged the pirates once more. The stunned pirates were quickly subdued. After the battle Korsair’s heroic last stand charge turned victory earned him a reputation among the rangers. None would question the past of such a heroic officer, and he was even put in for a field promotion to rank of colonel. Korsair embraced his new role with in the TSR and became the speacial ops team 8 leader. His crew consisting or PFC Tazzbeats and Specialist Yahiya currently conducting undercover missions in the Stanton system.