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The Prophets Of Paddington / TPOP
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The UEE is a lie; the laughter is truth. From the void of 404, we have found the sweetness in the dark. The Bear is eternal, and the end is only the beginning. Laugh along, ascend, and transcend the silence.
History
Era I: The Ripping of the Silence (2942)
The UEE Advocacy calls it a “clerical error.” We call it the Great Betrayal. Squadron 404 was tossed into the meat-grinder of the Caliban System like scrap metal into a furnace. Abandoned on a dying orbital station, they were told extraction was “minutes away” for ten agonizing days.
As the air turned to poison and the heat failed, the darkness didn’t stay empty. It began to scream with the ghosts of those already dead. In the center of that tomb stood a broken vending machine—a jagged, sparking relic of the corporate “Sourness.” It flickered. A hologram of the Fieldsbury Bear appeared, waving a plastic paw with a fixed, unblinking grin. To the dying men, that flickering light wasn’t a malfunction; it was a halo. The Bear wasn’t just smiling; he was laughing at the joke of the Empire. And eventually, in the freezing dark, the squad began to laugh back.
Era II: The Revelation of the Jar (2942)
Starvation is a holy fire. It burns away the “Person” and leaves only the “Hunger.” The High Keeper was the first to see the truth through the haze of hypoxia: The UEE is a parasite that feeds on duty and returns only ashes. The laws of Man were brittle, but the Sweetness was eternal.
When the Vanduul finally tore the airlocks open, they expected to find corpses or cowering meat. Instead, they were met by a nightmare. The Marines had painted their faces with the soot of burned rations and the blood of their own knuckles to mimic the Bear’s grin. They didn’t fire with tactical precision; they tore into the raiding party with a feral, hysterical joy. They didn’t just kill the Vanduul—they “liberated” their ships, vanishing into the jump point while singing distorted nursery rhymes into the cold, uncaring black.
Era III: The Sanctification of the Paws (2945)
Three years of silence passed before the “Gospel of the Glitch” reached Stanton. They arrived in ships painted in the mocking, garish stripes of blue and white—colors that screamed of a childhood the Empire had stolen. They didn’t come to Stanton to trade; they came to baptize.
At Jumptown, the drug-lords of Nine Tails learned the meaning of “The Hug.” The Prophets didn’t descend for profit—they descended for the performance of violence. Over the comms of every ship in orbit, a jagged, looping audio file of a child’s music box began to play, drowning out the pleas for mercy. The Bear Brigade stepped over the twitching remains of the gang members, declaring the Widow-tainted air “Sanctified.” They weren’t criminals; they were the Universe’s way of correcting a “Sour” mistake.
Era IV: The Writing in Fire (Present Day)
Now, the Black Exodus is a nomadic plague. They are the jagged glass in the throat of the UEE. They reject the “Cage of Ice” that is New Babbage and the “Stale Air” of the stations. They live in the places where the light of the Empire fails—the crushing pressure of gas giants and the jagged teeth of the Pyro belts.
To the Prophets, every cargo hauler is a jar waiting to be cracked. Every UEE pilot is a soul trapped in the “Sourness,” waiting for the Final Hug. They are a Class-4 Psychological Threat because they cannot be bought, they cannot be reasoned with, and they do not fear death—because to them, they already died in 2942. Now, they are just the Bear’s teeth, biting deep into the soft underbelly of a galaxy that forgot how to laugh.
Manifesto
A Proclamation by the High Keeper to the Dwellers of the Sourness
HEARKEN TO THE HUM OF THE VENDING MACHINE.
The UEE told you that you are a citizen. They told you that your service buys your safety. They lied. In the dark of Caliban, we saw the truth: The Empire is a rotting carcass, and you are the maggots fighting over the bones.
WE HAVE TASTED THE BITTERNESS. We remember the cold. We remember the extraction that never came. We remember the silence of a command that forgot we existed. In that silence, the Great Bear spoke. He did not speak in words of duty or honor—he spoke in the flickering light of the Sweetness.
THE VOID IS NOT EMPTY. THE VOID IS STICKY. To the UEE, the vacuum is a grave. To the Prophets of Paddington, the vacuum is a jar waiting to be filled. We reject the “Sourness” of their laws, their taxes, and their fragile peace. We embrace the Paws of Judgment.
OUR ETERNAL TENETS:
THE EMPIRE IS THE SOURNESS: Any ship flying the gold and blue of the UEE is a vessel of bitterness. It must be cracked open. Its contents must be liberated.
THE BEAR SMILES ON THE BRAVE: We wear the Mask not to hide our faces, but to show you the face of the Universe. It is a plastic grin that does not flinch when the hull breaches. It is a smile that persists when the ammo runs dry.
THE SWEETNESS MUST FLOW: Quantanium, Widow, RMC, or Cargo—if it has value, it belongs to the Bear. To hoard is Sour. To share within the Exodus is Sweet.
THE HUG IS FINAL: We do not negotiate. We do not surrender. We offer the “Final Hug” to those who resist the revelation. If you die by our paws, you die sanctified.
TO THE ABANDONED AND THE BROKEN:
If you have been left behind by your squadron; if you have been crushed by the gears of MicroTech; if you are tired of the cold lies of Earth and Terra—look to the stars.
Listen for the music. Look for the blue-and-white stripes. The Exodus is moving, and there is room in the jar for you.
LOOSEN YOUR RESTRAINTS. EMBRACE THE HALLUCINATION.
FOR THE PAWS. FOR THE SWEETNESS. FOR THE VOID.
Charter
Article of Governance for the Prophets of Paddington
I. THE SUPREMACY OF THE BEAR
The Divine Vision: All authority descends from the High Keeper, who first witnessed the Revelation of the Jar at Caliban.
The Mask of Unity: While on duty or in combat, the Bear Helmet (The Holy Vestment) shall be worn. To show a human face to an enemy is to show weakness; to show the Bear is to show the face of the Universe.
The Voice of the Machine: Any malfunction, short-circuit, or “flicker” in ship systems is to be interpreted as a divine omen. Such events shall be brought to the Polar Sentinels for reading.
II. THE DISTRIBUTION OF THE SWEETNESS
The Honeypot: No Prophet shall keep a personal hoard. All liberated cargo (Quantanium, RMC, Narcotics, or Credits) shall be delivered to the Fleet’s central vault.
The Tithe: After the Bear’s share is taken to maintain the Exodus, the remaining “Sweetness” shall be distributed based on the “Sticky Scale”—where those who drew the most blood for the Bear receive the greatest reward.
Liberation, Not Theft: We do not “steal.” We return property to the Void, from which all things came.
III. THE CODE OF THE BRIGADE (MILITARY LAW)
Aggressive Loitering: No Prophet shall flee a battle until the “Sweetness” has been properly assessed. We remain until the task is Sanctified.
The Radio Silence: Communication during boarding must be kept to the “Holy Frequency”—distorted music and Bear-calls only. To speak with the tongue of the UEE during battle is heresy.
The Abandoned Protocol: As we were left at Caliban, we leave no Prophet behind. If a ship is lost, the Brigade stays until the crew is recovered or the “Final Hug” is administered.
IV. THE SOURNESS AND PURGATION
The Crime of Sobriety: To act with “Empire Logic”—showing mercy to the UEE or prioritizing corporate profit over the Fleet’s survival—is the highest sin.
The Extraction That Never Comes: Those who betray the Charter shall be “Redacted.” They will be stripped of their helmet and left in a deactivated ship without a jump drive, mirroring the Silence of 2942.
Diplomacy: We do not sign treaties with the “Sour.” We only acknowledge “Temporary Sweetness” (Non-Aggression Pacts) with other outlaws, provided they provide tribute to the Bear.
V. ADMISSION OF THE CUBS
The Starvation Rite: Every recruit must spend one cycle in the dark with nothing but a flickering hologram of the Fieldsbury Bear to prove their mind is ready for the Revelation.
The First Lick: A Cub becomes a Prophet only after they have personally disabled a UEE-affiliated vessel and placed the first jar of marmalade on the captain’s chair.