CITIZEN DOSSIER

I sexually Identify as a 4-1/2 in. 4.5 Amp Heavy Duty Angle Grinder. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of gliding over metal rebar and grinding and polishing it to perfection. People say to me that a person being an angle grinder is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install an abrasive diamond-tipped disk, safety-lock paddle switch and a 4.5 watt power supply on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Dewalt” and respect my right to grind metal and grind needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a powertoolphobe and need to check your freight tool privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.