After all I've done, I'll disappear

Deacon had been a bit different lately. More affectionate and giddy. Said he had an idea for a trip off-planet and Callie wrote off on it almost instantly. Don't know if she was in on it but then again she's not a hardass of a boss.

He had gone back to the ship rental shop on Terra and grabbed the Pisces Callie had, the one that was a refitted small luxury ship.

Marshall gave me a few days head's up when the trip would be and today was the big day for uh...whatever he had planned.

He brought an extra thick blanket, some extra pillows and at this point he had to be planning a picnic. We weren't getting married for a long while so this would be nice to get free of the compound deep in the forest.

I have no idea what he has planned but I'm weirdly excited about it!

Ravi's all-seeing eyes were refusing to give details, Verdi was out of the loop, Arcantha and Mom were over in Pyro and bird-dad wasn't around much as of lately.

The drive in this boat was slow, but extremely efficient. I boarded and lay on the small single bed while Marshall took the helm and we set of. Ravi and Verdi were alone but they promised they could hold it down. I'm second in command, but my backup was Verdi purely because despite her carefree attitude she would make an excellent leader.

"We're taking the long way, and making a low orbit stop to take in the sights." Marshall says over his shoulder, and I sink into the bed as he take off level with the ground. I'm not used to these smaller ships but the bed was cozy and the kitchen was still small.

"Hey Marshie?" I ask with my hands behind my head. "What's all this about? Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise!" He says sounding extremely happy with himself.

We're both ex-military, we're supposed to hate surprises.

The ship has a Kelsun composite coating on the ceiling like the cockpit of a Prowler, so that occupants inside can see out and ours kicks in to show the beautiful curvature of the planet, clouds, the ocean dotted with islands and the void of space itself.

It's so amazing!

The bed starts to slide away from the wall on a motor, and the other half folds out pushing into the kitchen counter. We're now on a large bed that takes up most of the interior and I say we due to Marshal climbing onto it with me.

We stare up and "out" to the view and he rests his head on the back of the hands like me, so I roll over and rest my head on his shoulder.

I could fall asleep here but I don't wanna ruin the mood.

"It's been wild, huh?" Deacon says as he wraps his arm around and caresses my shoulder. "Met you through somebody I was ordered to watch, had our first kiss in the back of a juice bar and now we're staring at home far away from where we were born..."

"I'll never forget that kiss. You grabbed Verdi and I and just dragged our incapacitated asses out of harm's way." I say softly.

We owe this man our lives, but I got something more out of it.

To this day Callie still believes the destroyed mouth guard story but honestly if she doesn't know by now I'd be surprised.

I wrap my arm around his chest and look at the rock he put on my finger. "I know we're kinda speedrunning this but I feel like I've known you my whole life. What happens after this though?"

He shrugs.

"Life isn't about the destination, it's about the journey. I just want you to be my copilot in life."

An 890 Jump coasts by off in the distance and we stare it down.

"Imagine feeling the need for that!" He jokes and I laugh with him.

"I love you, Fareeah." He says in a tone I've never heard from him and it sends a chill down my spine.

I tell him I love him too, and the universe feels right as I start to drift off.

I feel a soft bump in the road, and the Kelsun coating is disabled as I lay on the folded bed against the wall. I stand up and walk to the pilot's seat to see a field lined with rows of metal bars in grass.

I...I've seen these before.

He asks me to sit for a minute while he puts the boat down on a pad and I sit on the edge of the bed.

A small bump and the engines power down, he rotates in his seat and walks to me with his hand held out.

"C'mon, I got some old war buddies for you to meet."

I take his hand and I suddenly feel out of place. He was deployed to excursions, wars, smaller battles, he's been to hell, the frontlines and back.

He leads me off the ship with a large duffle bag in his hand and the hatch silently closes behind us here at the bottom of a gentle hill.

As far as the eye can see are those bars.

We walk through the grass and each marker we pass pops up a holographic display of a person's face, name, date of birth, death, and rank.

Fuck. My parents are probably buried out here.

We walk past twenty-something rows and hang a left. past three markers and here's one of his buddies. Gregory "Scooter" Macnamara. Infantry, died at 33, lieutenant.

"He got the name because he'd nearly managed to take himself out on a mop bucket in the barracks. Sarge came in as we're all giggling like idiots and-" He switches to a stereotypical drill sergeant voice. "-CADETS ARE NOT TO BE SCOOTING AROUND AND MISAPPROPRIATING EQUIPMENT!"

Name makes sense now and I chuckle. I'm not gonna ask what happened because Deacon seems so high on the endorphins that I don't ruin it for him.

The Tour continues.

Sketti: Tried the trick where you snort a noodle and it comes out your mouth, got stuck and infirmary had to remove it.

Jeff: All kinds of mischief and shenanigans, drill sergeants hated him but his name was so paper bland they never gave him a nickname for the jokes.

Another small hike.

Three guys who stole the fuel from their CO's ship, grounded him and made the whole platoon suffer for a year.

Frederick Hurston, no relation. Victor "poopstain" Durham, Terrance Stein, Hector "heck" Espinosa...I forgot to look up rank, I was starting to just see a bunch of goofy guys and it really put it into perspective that they were human first, rank last.

One caught me completely off guard.

Brenda Isabelle Deacon. Died at 53 with Marshall Marcus Deacon, both Master Sergeants.

"Hey uh...babe? Why is your name here?" I ask nervously.

He looks at the marker with a big smile and you can tell he's genuinely happy.

"My parents. Both sergeants who served in the attack on Vega II. They were happy to serve and if they were here right now they'd probably do it again."

It's a little hard to breathe right now.

"Deacon I-"

"They would have loved you! You, Callie, Verdi, Ravi, Arcantha..." His voice trailing off.

My heart breaks as he turns to walk over a few feet and I choke back tears.

I looks over and waves me over and I hear him talking.

"So this is my fiance, Fareeah. We met during an incursion and her group loves going around and saving people! We shared our first kiss in the fight!" He chuckles to himself.

I step over and see the names.

Theresa Morine Deacon, age 36, Commander (Retired)

Helene Victoria Deacon.

Age 9. Civilian.

Oh. Oohh nooo...

His smile was even bigger than when he was talking to his parents, he was the happiest man on earth. I was standing next to him when he set the bag on the ground and pulled his helmet out then handed it to me.

"She's going to be your new mom someday! I think you'll like her! She's gonna take care of your papa, right?" He says as he looks at me.

I can't hold the tears; I'm crying more than I have in my entire life combined. I'm a pretty strong woman but this...

There is no training for this.

"Hi...I'm uh...I'm Gren-uh..I'm Fareeah!" I say, as I struggle to hold it together and hold Marshall's helmet close. "I hope this is okay?" I say as I look at his wife's marker.

"Oh she always told me if something happened to her that I'd promise to move on and take care of Helene."

He looks so...calm.

"I was terrified of losing her and she really was my everything. She always said that dying was inevitable, and we shouldn't run from it." He smiled through this all. "We can fight it, fight for others, and fight for ourselves. But when there's no way out there's no point in running. If you fight it, then at least you did something instead of just giving up.

I hugged the helmet tightly and noticed my hand lined up with Helene's. She was such a small, sweet kid.

"I'll take care of your dad, Ellie. I promise!" I weep softly. "And Theresa I swear he's in good hands, Spacemoms get shit done!"