Otoni Boloney - A Garman Humble Fanfiction

I really enjoyed the Garman Humble videos from IAE (1, 2) and thought it might be fun to write a little fanfiction.

Otoni Baloney

Petty thieves are a walk in the park. Organised crime, though, is what really gets my blood pumping. Putting real assholes behind bars is what I am here for, all - day - long.

The crime bosses here don't dictate just the criminal activities, but much of the day to day goings on around Stanton. The ones I'm talking about are not as obvious as the Nine Tails or the ones in Pyro. Here they operate in the shadows, pulling strings and making others do their dirty work.

One such criminal group is the Otoni Syndicate. The Otonis have as much pull as any of the big 4 corporates in Stanton and probably just as much cash too. They have executive contacts and perhaps even members that rank highly in the big 4's corporate structure. Identifying members and taking them down is one of the more difficult jobs I do (oh, but by far the most rewarding).

Unfortunately, most of the contracts I see these days are for petty criminals - thieves, small time dealers, etc. The Otonis use the bounty system to pay for scapegoats for their own wrongdoings. What was it like knowing the Otonis footed the bill for my work? Shit. I may as well be a hit-man for the Otoni Syndicate.

But that stops today. "Or at least that's the plan", I thought to myself, as I clung to the bottom of the cargo elevator descending into the underbelly of RMS (Riker Memorial Spaceport). Above me were 16 large containers of Iron that had just arrived on a Hercules C2, or at least that is what it looked like on the manifest. Inside the shielded containers were thousands of kilos of E'tam (a drug known as Blinder on the streets, that was way illegal to be transported in these quantities). This stuff had been produced in Pyro to be sold on to dealers here in Area 18.

They had slipped up though, the paperwork didn't just look official, it was official. And from the desk of an executive assistant at Crusader. Nailing this asshole wasn't just going to be an annoyance, it was going to be a nightmare for the Otoni. The $6 million price tag on the drugs they were about to lose was nothing compared to how this would compromise their anonymity. This would wreck their operation.

The elevator slowly came to a halt. The platform giving a creaking groan under the mass of the containers above. Quickly I opened an access hatch and made my way for the air-duct on the wall. I was being careful to move quietly, both so that I wouldn't be heard and so I could overhear what they were saying.

"It's here!", one man shouted. "Get the Mules, we need to get this stuff split up and out of here ASAP" (Mules are these super cute little forklift cart things).

From the duct I could make out what was happening. Up near the entrance to the garage were eight modified and heavily armoured Anvil trucks. And a handful of Mules had already started moving the E'tam. There were 18 men in total, 8 on the trucks, 4 on the Mules and another six wearing armour and holding rifles making sure everything went smoothly. The one shouting out orders had a full suit with helmet, making it hard to make out their face. If my sources were accurate, this was Anton, one of Twitch's contacts. If I didn't get him alive, tying up loose ends was going to be a pain in the ass.

I had already called it in to Arccorp Security, but I wasn't just about to let anyone get the evidence out of here. Besides Garman Humble ain't so humble, he wants all the credit for this masterpiece of a plan (yes, sometimes I think about myself in the third-person, so what?).

I tapped my mobiglas and the charge I had placed under the elevator went off with a loud muffled bang. Quite disappointing really, I had hoped for a bit more than that, there was a bit of smoke and stuff, but the cargo lift stayed put. Oh well, hopefully it was enough of a distraction.

I was already out of the duct and moving fast across the garage hoping the blast would hold their attention for another second or two. One guard with a gun and seemingly the only one with enough brain to look around instead of at the blast took my first shot to his shoulder armour. The second was better placed and hit him square in the head. He dropped.

My silenced LH86 was a small calibre handgun, hopefully enough to take out these goons. Luckily for me, only the six guards had armour and getting the jump on them would give me the advantage. Another turned around only to be met with the same fate as the first. This time in half as many bullets.

The rest took a different approach, two ducked behind cover and the remaining two rushed toward the first truck that was had just finished loading E'tam. I scooped up one of the fallen guards' rifles on the way and slid behind the wheels of the last truck. Four trucks were still completely empty, the first was full and the remaining three were part way there.

Indiscriminately, I unloaded the rifle's clip at the level of the Mules' tyres, strafing left to right hoping to slow down the rest of their loading experience. The two guards behind cover finally started figuring things out and returned fire. Their bullets ripping into the solid rubber tyres I hid behind.

Two engines roared to life, they were trying to get some of the drugs out of here before the fuzz arrived. No way were they going to pull that shit on my watch.

The first truck started heading out the exit tunnel, but the tunnel wasn't quite wide enough to fit two abreast, so the second had to wait. I emptied my clip in the direction of the other guards as I sprinted across the court. Lunging I managed to grab the rear bumper just as the second truck took off.

Was I glad I had time to stretch while I was waiting in that elevator shaft? Abso-damn-lutely. Remember folks, limber up.

As the trucks got up to speed I clambered onto the roof. I wasn't going to be able to do much with the armour plating, but maybe I could... Yes, they left the driver's window open. Who even are these people? Otoni are getting sloppy, they have had it far too easy, for far too long.

I tossed a grenade through the window before leaping to the truck in-front. The driver panicked and immediately swerved into the wall the truck coming to a grinding halt before a satisfying "poof" could be heard in the distance. But I was already making my way to the driver's cabin.

A soft beep on my wrist let me know that the Stalker was in position. As much as I would have enjoyed taking these folk out, it would be even more rewarding to hand Anton over to A18 security. I walked slowly back to the rear of the truck, and just as it reached the end of the tunnel I fell backwards into a roll.

The tunnel ahead lit up with the blue glow of my distortion cannons (for all you aspiring bounty hunters out there, go ask the lads down at Cousin Crow to hook you up. These cannons are great because they aren't going to blow up anything value, instead they use EM interference to drain power supplies and batteries).

Admittedly, the blue glow was not quite as cool as as walking away from an explosion. But I had achieved my mission. And it was time to get a snack.

"Criminal deduction? Next stop, burrito seduction", I say as I blow a kiss to where I imagine the camera would be (yes, I know you can't see my lips through the helmet).