Herding cats (poorly) since Earth World War II
2932: The 9th Combat Ready Squadron issues a warrant for the arrest of Airborne for Piracy under section 8, paragraph 19 of the charter of interplanetary government.
2933: A small group of pilots within the 9th Combat Ready Squadron revolt over the warrant and form the 507th Special Operations Taskforce [SOT].
2934: With only a handful of fighters and bombers, the 507th is forced to hide in an asteroid field while they build up their forces and wage a secret war against their former allies.
2936: An errant transmission is sent over the wrong frequency and a 2 year war ensues over the phrase “Tontis, Call me back”
2938: SOT grows in number as word of its deed spread throughout the galaxy. Its loose hierarchy and flexible structure draw an increasingly diverse membership.
2940: Eventually two main arch-types begin to take shape, Combat and Trade. The Combat and Trade divisions begin to work together to strengthen SOT.
2942: It becomes apparent that certain elements of SOT are unable to work cohesively and are branded Hyena Squadron (or “Hynies” as they are often referred to ie: We lost that whole load of dutronium when the Hynies attacked that pirate base and we got swarmed trying to rescue them)
2944: The Charter is formally established when SOT submits an application with the UEE for organizational membership and is accepted to their wild disbelief.
1. We Bad.
I. The 507th Special Operations Taskforce is divided into roughly 3 herd of cats, all vying for power and attention throughout the galaxy.
II. ORGANIZATIONAL UNITS
A. Herd A Angry Herd – This is our combat unit, full of angry cats with sharp claws who will CHOP you into pieces and feed you to the sharks.
B. Herd B Bashful Herd – This is our trading unit, full of cats with big hulls and bigger wallets who will buy and liquidate you.
C. Herd C Calamity Herd – Also known as Hyena Squad or “The Hynies”, this is everyone who doesn’t fall into Herd’s A or B. They are a mess. They cannot follow directions and are constantly getting us into trouble for no good reason at all.
III. OPERATIONAL OBJECTIVES
A. Herd A’s primary job is to protect Herd B from predators (and the hijinks of Herd C).
B. Herd B’s primary job is to earn money and resources to keep Herd A strong and expand Herd B.
C. Herd C…let’s just not talk about Herd C, they really should just be ignored. If you pay attention to them it will just make it worse.
Herd C is most likely going to get Herd’s A and B into conflict with more powerful organizations than we can possibly contend with. Therefore, we would first like to “apologize!” for all the things that Herd C has done to you. We by no means intended for any of this to happen. We have already talked to Herd C about this and they have promised not to do this again in the future. However, we cannot allow outside forces to discipline Herd C, for they are our group of misfits! We are going to have to back them up if you try to discipline them yourselves. Please stand down or we will be forced to get destroyed by you and it will probably not be pretty for us.
Now that we have been wiped proper, there shall be a required drama llama session where Herd’s A and B will admonish (to no avail whatsoever), Herd C. At least 3 people will rage quit for at least 1 hour at this point. Someone will be genuinely angry and the rest of us will laugh at them.
VI. REPEAT AD NAUSEUM