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Alt F4 / WVM
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WELCOME would you like to ride in my freelancer we have candy
History
Alt+F4 is a bait and switch trolling technique used against users who lack knowledge of operating system shortcuts and features. When asked how to perform an online action (i.e. “omg how do I use colourz?!?!”) a helpful troll will offer advice in the form of “press alt+f4”—this keyboard shotcut command closes down the active window in most Windows applications, at which point the successful troll wallows in their own crapulence.
The technique is likely to work on n00bs due to their lack of system commands knowledge and internet trolling experience, making alt+f4 the troll equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel:
It must be noted that the Alt+f4 command works for Unix-based systems such as KDE and GNOME graphical user interfaces, that Windows has several other commands to close a focused window (ctrl+f4, alt+space+c, ctrl+w) and that the Mac OS commands are Cmd+w (close window) and Cmd+Q (quit application), according to a Wikipedia list of shortcuts.
That meme’s process is very close, in its application, to the Delete System32 meme, though less harmful for one’s computer.
Origins
This trolling technique most likely originated on mIRC, a multiple internet relay chat program popular in the late 90s and early 00s. It is very effective here due to two major limitations of the program:
No “are you sure” question before conducting a shut down
Highly attractive program for n00bs and trolls alike
Manifesto
ALT+F4
The generic way of remedying an otherwise impossible situation.
White Van Man
no matter how old they are, the male driver of this van will always spend less time watching the road and more time eyeing up any member of the opposite sex. If you get two men at the front of the van, you are more than likely to have the non-driver wind down the window and make some laddish comment. Usually grown-up townies (see also). Also see: paedo, paedophile
Charter
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
1 4. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved it’s full potential, that word would be ‘meetings’.
27. There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness.’
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
36. Your friends love you anyway.
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