Posted:2012-10-17 20:20:20
spectrum-dispatch
Daisy Wences: Welcome to the only show that also describes what you’re doing right now. This is Spectrum Spectator! I’m Daisy Wences.
Lars Gonall: And I’m Lars Gonall. Together, we watch what’s new and noteworthy on spectrum so you know what’s worth gluing your eyes to.
Daisy Wences: And what will make you want to glue your eyes shut, like how I felt after watching one of this week’s vids.
Lars Gonall: Well, before we get to the vid that made Daisy question her life choices, we have some breaking news regarding Kid Empire.
Daisy Wences: A show that asks the all-important question: if left to their own devices, what kind of society would kids create?
Lars Gonall: Turns out one that couldn’t survive a few days of bad weather. Production on the show has been suspended after torrential rains created unsafe conditions for the cast. Which is pretty weak if you ask me. Back in my day, child reality stars weren’t afraid of getting swept away by dangerous riptides.
Daisy Wences: Probably didn’t help that in last week’s episode the kids picked a spread of TipTop dumplings for their reward instead of a Multi-Tool with RMC canisters to patch all those holes in their shelter.
Lars Gonall: Kid Empire is consistently the most shocking and surprising thing I watch, and I’ll be damned if I don’t love every last second of it. Though I have to admit, I’m not sure how it’s even legal to put kids in some of these circumstances. That whole gravity generator thing last week was pretty intense.
Daisy Wences: Oh, I met someone who works on it and got a little insight into their process. Let’s just say they love parents who are willing to sign liability waivers to give their kid a chance to be famous.
Lars Gonall: Well this makes me want to cry. Recapping episodes of Kid Empire for this show is literally the highlight of my week. We will still be recapping this week’s episode later in the show but will put future reviews on hold until the production is back up and running.
Daisy Wences: But wait, don’t you dare go anywhere until we’ve discussed the primo propaganda vid we watched this week.
Lars Gonall: Woah now, that’s a bit of a harsh characterization of CitizenCon: A Celebration, the new special from SSN/CAtv that compiles the best and most memorable CitizenCon moments from the last century and a half.
Daisy Wences: And brings me to my first problem with this vid. Where are all the highlights from the Messer era? Since they created the modern CitizenCon as a military recruitment tool, there must’ve been, at least, a massive flyby that they could’ve used to represent that era.
Lars Gonall: To be fair, the vid isn’t meant as a history lesson, it’s clearly trying to get people excited for this year’s show. Gotta admit, it worked on me. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Daisy Wences: And I ranted about it for a good hour in our pre-show meeting, which actually made me realize that part of the reason why the vid got me so worked up is because it’s entertaining. Some of those talent-show clips made me laugh harder than anything I’ve seen in months.
Lars Gonall: These are segments from the much maligned “Star Citizen” talent competitions of the early 2850s.
Daisy Wences: Loved that the vid totally leaned into that reputation by showing stuff like the guy failing to balance all those cargo crates on his head alongside some truly impressive feats.
Lars Gonall: How about that crazy zero-g juggling segment?
Daisy Wences: Her timing and accuracy with the tractor beam were incredible. I’ll never accomplish anything half as impressive in my life.
Lars Gonall: I’d seen most of those talent competition clips already, but you really have to scour spectrum to find ‘em, so it’s great to have the best ones compiled here and fully restored!
Daisy Wences: Yeah, the entire thing looks and sounds great, particularly all the musical performances. I maxed out the volume during Gaucho’s performance so much my ears were still ringing the next day. Totally worth it.
Lars Gonall: Guess the production worked directly with The Ark to pull and restore footage for the vid.
Daisy Wences: You can tell they put a lot of care and thought into it, but that still doesn’t make any of the speeches they included any more interesting.
Lars Gonall: Seriously? You didn’t like any of them?
Daisy Wences: Snooze central. Every last one of them.
Lars Gonall: Not even Imperator Toi’s famous speech from the first post-Messer CitizenCon?
Daisy Wences: Had to memorize parts of that one for a school project. Now anytime I hear it, my brain’s just scrambling to remember the next word before she says it.
Lars Gonall: That’s too bad. It still gets me every time. That and Imperator Salehi’s speech about why we need to build Synthworld were the clear highlights for me.
Daisy Wences: Guess this kinda brings me back to my original point. The show includes a bunch of these political speeches to give the vid a sense of history and perspective, so while it’s posturing like it’s not afraid to broach serious issues, it fails to acknowledge any controversies related to the event itself.
Lars Gonall: I get it, but again, this really isn’t that type of vid.
Daisy Wences: Which is exactly why I half-jokingly called it propaganda. The vid is only interested in presenting a very sanitized and positive view of CitizenCon. I truly think it would’ve been way more interesting if they also included stuff like Senator Amalie Ngo’s speech advocating for Terran independence being cut short due to bogus technical issues, or how about when that group of protesters overran the stage in 2911 to advocate for universal suffrage?
Lars Gonall: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this vid collecting feel-good moments from CitizenCon. It reminds us that the event really is about how we, the people, are what makes this Empire great.
Daisy Wences: You mean Citizens. All of us civilians are still waiting for the Empire to hold an event celebrating our contributions.
Lars Gonall: You know it’s not as cut and dry as that. The name is meant to inspire people to become more active and engaged with the Empire.
Daisy Wences: Well, it’s always made me feel less than because I’m just a civ. And I know that might just be a “me” thing but I wanted to acknowledge it because I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Lars Gonall: So to wrap this up, I really enjoyed CitizenCon: A Celebration. It was not only entertaining but got me excited for this year’s event.
Daisy Wences: And I kinda liked some of the stuff in this vid but mixing in those political speeches really rubbed me the wrong way. They were boring and kept reminding me that the event celebrates Citizens and not us mere civs.
Lars Gonall: We need to take a quick break, but don’t go anywhere as we still have to recap this week’s episode of Kid Empire and spoiler, our favorite kid, Abdul, decides that using a thruster to warm up ration packs is a good idea.
Daisy Wences: Plus, we’ll talk about a new type of talk show that will be hitting spectrum soon. One that will be broadcast live in Stanton from a converted Connie called The Only Constant. We’ll take bets on how long it takes before the ship runs into trouble while broadcasting, and debate if part of the show’s appeal will be watching in anticipation of what might go wrong.
Lars Gonall: Kinda like how I watch the Murray Cup.
Daisy Wences: Spectrum Spectator will be back, right after this.