Spectrum Dispatch

Lore

ID:

12862

Comments:

53

Date:

January 22nd 2013

News Update: Dumper's Depot Ad

News Update: Dumper's Depot Ad

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ADVERTISEMENT>2942>DUMPDEPOT>


TRANSCRIPT>>>


 

Are you tired of salvage companies givin’ piddly Creds for your hard work? Next time, come on down to any of our ‘verse-famous Dumper’s Depot franchises. My name’s Burner Zeke here and if you’ve got scrap, I’ve got Creds. I’ll take salvage, ore, spacesuits, weapons, artifacts, whatever. I don’t care, why should you? Just take a look at your cargo hold and ask yourself, does it look old? Is it just a bunch of junk? If you answered yes, then bring it on down and let one of our certified surveyors have a look.

Who says you can’t polish a turd? I do it every day! I take the stuff you don’t need and turn it into gold. Now you might be sayin’, hey Burner Zeke, that’s awfully kind of you giving honest credits for my debris but ain’t you a little crazy in the head? What do you think you can do with it?

Well, I’ll tell you, yes! Twice! Maybe I’ve flown around in ships that ain’t be pressurized right for a bit too long but I ain’t that crazy to give away money for nothing. Dumper’s Depot is an official partner to over twenty refining and construction Corps contracted to recycle refuse into buildin’ materials. But you don’t want to hear about all that and I don’t blame you. I don’t want to hear about it and I own the company!

So how’s it work? Well, I’ll tell ya. Dumper’s Depot takes all sizes of debris, from the cargo holds of a Connie to the lint in your pocket. Swing by your local depot with a crate of salvage and one of our fine employees will take a look …

LEGAL DISCLAIMER:  Prices may change based on the needs and supply of the system in which the store is located.  Dumper’s Depot LLC is not bound to honor prices between systems.  Prices may also change without warning based on shifting economic needs.

… and give you an honest price for what you’re selling.  Haggle if you like, but my papa always told me, ‘Zeke, if a man’s got money to pay, you don’t waste his time.’ So that’s what we do, we shoot straight with you.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER:  Dumper’s Depot LLC is not responsible for inaccurate appraisals.

That’s it. You bring us your stuff. We give you a price. You agree?  We take it off your hands. Simple as pie.

Now some of you be wondering, ‘well I just went on a drift through Hades and I think I might’a found me some old Hadesian what’s-a-doosit. Would ol’ Burner Zeke be interested in that?’

Damn right I would! Now, not every Dumper’s Depot store is capable of handling antiquity. We’re hoping to expand that over the next few years but, in the meantime, only the Dumper’s Depot SuperStores at Terra, Croshaw, Magnus and Idris have Artifact Divisions. We offer fully certified ExoArchaeologists and Appraisers so you can rest assured that you’re getting a fair price.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER:  Dumper’s Depot LLC is not responsible for inaccurate appraisals.

So what about you entrepreneurs out there? Say you’ve been breaking your back for the man long enough and decided, enough is enough, and got yourself a nice little factory or something. You’re gonna need resources to keep up that output and maybe you can’t rely on the average pilot to help make your quota. Well, Dumper’s Depot now offers commercial contracts. That’s right. All those years of selling us scrap you picked up from some derelict ship is now coming your way. Swing on by to buy in bulk or for a nominal monthly fee …

LEGAL DISCLAIMER:  Commercial Service Fee dependent on delivery amount of resources.

… you can have Dumper’s Depot Metals help ease your factory’s resource requirement.

So, as you can tell, we can handle any kind of business you want to throw our way. And if we can’t, then why are you still watching this? Ain’t you got better things to do with your time?  I’m just teasin’. Seriously though, come on down to your local Dumper’s Depot. You ain’t gotta be crazy to know that I offer the craziest prices this side of interspace.

Dumper’s Depot … because everything’s valuable to someone.

 

. . .  END TRANSMISSION

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